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psychosistr · 4 years ago

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Snow Day

Summary: After a particularly rough day, Domino isn’t in the best mood. Fortunately, Steelbeak knows just the thing to cheer him up- all he needs is a nice day and some of his partner’s favorite weather.

Notes: This was a holiday gift for @thefriendlyfour and I hope you all enjoy it as well ^.^ As always, Domino (as well as Steelbeak’s outfit design) belongs to the ever amazing @thefriendlyfour / @eleanorose123 (though I think Domino’s winter outfit in this one was originally designed by @akysi ), so make sure you go check out their work as well! =^.^=

There were many things to like about the city of St. Canard: Exciting night life. Great views of the bay. A diverse ecosystem in and around the town. Plenty of places to eat, shop, and steal from. A resident super-hero (though that being likable was subjective). A prison with terrible security for easy escape (again, subjective).

The weather, Dominic thought, was decidedly not one of the things to like about St. Canard.

The loon and his partner, Steelbeak, had just endured an all-day mission for FOWL that involved driving all over the city in temperatures just short of freezing. Normally, the red-eyed bird enjoyed colder weather- winter was his favorite season, after all. Today, however, had been that uncomfortable kind of cold where it seemed fine at first but, over time, made you regret not choosing a warmer coat when you left (they’d both made that mistake, and had relied on his car’s heater to thaw themselves out every time they were done at one location) that only got worse when the clouds decided to precipitate just enough for it to be misty but not enough to snow, resulting in the clammy kind of cold that seeped into their clothes and had them shivering every time they stayed outside just a little too long.

Everything culminated in a showdown with Darkwing Duck at the bay where the two top-ranking agents attempted to use FOWL’s newest device, the “PRESSURIZER”, to drain all of the water and use it as an extremely dangerous high-pressure water canon to extort the town’s residents and government for billions. They had been so close to victory…until that infuriating little red headed girl that always trailed along behind the city’s protector used a hockey stick to launch a wrench that Darkwing’s (admittedly attractive) sidekick had on him in an impressive ricochet shot that perfectly hit the “self-destruct” button (Steelbeak would later swear to pay a visit to the scientist responsible for that little feature) on the console right between the two fowls. Had the resulting blast not sent the pair plummeting into Audubon Bay, Dominic would have been inclined to comment on the child making such an impressive and difficult shot so easily.

As it stood, however, he wasn’t in any hurry to congratulate the one responsible for submerging him and his partner in a bay that was one step above freezing.

Once the deadly duo had dragged themselves up from the ocean’s chilling depths, they made a hasty retreat to Dominic’s car and sped off just in time to avoid the police. While they’d avoided any major injuries (bumps, bruises, scrapes, and singed feathers were par for the course when it came to their line of work), the two agents ended the day feeling exhausted, frustrated, soaked to the bone, shivering like they were trying to avoid hypothermia (which may not have been far from the truth). Oh, and let’s not forget the cherry on top of this wonderful day- Dominic’s car now absolutely reeked of sea water from the two having to sit in it without having time to dry off or change their clothes.

By the time they got home, showered, and changed, it was late and neither man was in a particularly good mood. Both of them just wanted a few days to unwind before having to deal with anymore insanity. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it?

Well, apparently it was.

No sooner had the two gotten settled on opposite ends of Steelbeak’s couch, fully intent on relaxing before dinner, than the large screen across the room flickered to life on its own. Dominic held back a frustrated groan and could hear a barely muffled sound of displeasure from the lighter bird across from him.

The images on the screen came into focus and three familiar silhouetted figures appeared on it, the one seated in the middle doing the talking as per usual. “Chief Officer Steelbeak, agent Domino, we have a new mission for you.”

Dominic ignored the muttered “gimme a break” from his right, though he certainly agreed with the sentiment wholeheartedly. “When do we start?”

Both agents groaned internally at their leader’s rather curt reply. “First thing in the morning at 8:00 sharp.”

He went on to explain the details of their mission, but Dominic was only idly absorbing the information (they’d be given proper instructions in the morning). What the loon got from High Command’s summarized description was that the science department had developed some sort of large egg-shaped sun-blocking device that would create a false eclipse. While the citizens of Calisota were panicking over the false eclipse, FOWL would be taking advantage of the chaos to rob multiple high-value targets at once ranging from museums to laboratories.

Apparently this all had to be done tomorrow, as it was the only day of the coming weeks predicted to have a substantial amount of sunlight for the device’s deployment to make a significant impact.

Although Steelbeak seemed just as thrilled (maybe even less so) than his partner, the lighter FOWL managed a convincingly neutral acceptance of their orders. “Sure thing. We’ll be up an’ waitin’ for the call.”

After receiving a similar acknowledgement from Dominic, the screen went dark once more.

With no more eyes on them (at least, they were fairly certain there were none, it was hard to tell sometimes whether or not with that thing..), the chief officer and his partner finally vocalized their displeasure- Dominic with a frustrated sigh and Steelbeak with an irritated groan.

“No rest for the wicked, it seems.” The loon shook his head, not bothering to hide his scowl anymore. “You’d think we’d get at least ONE day off after what they just put us through…”

Steelbeak rolled his eyes, his scowl matching the darker bird’s. “That’s the problem with those ‘workin’ behind the shadow’ types- they get t’ sit around all day tellin’ everyone else what t’ do an’ forget how exhaustin’ it is bein’ a field agent……like t’ see ‘em try runnin’ ‘round all day an’ deal with stupid heroes shootin’ junk at ‘em…” The last sentence was muttered disdainfully, but was certainly not lost on the other man.

“Now that is something I’d pay to see.” Dominic sighed, leaning back on the couch and closing his eyes. Might as well relax while he could, seeing as he’d have to head straight to bed after dinner to make sure he had enough energy for tomorrow. “That or some bad weather…I’d actually pay for it if it meant having a day off.”

With his own eyes closed, the loon missed the look of realization that appeared in the lighter fowl’s dark eyes….and the devious smirk that soon followed…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A loud, rather irritating ringing woke Dominic up from his slumber. Rolling onto his side with one red eye barely open to peer at his bedside clock and the covered window across the room, he was further irritated by the fact that it was too early for his alarm to go off- it was only half past five and he’d been hoping to rest until at least seven. The ringing, he soon realized, was coming from his phone rather than his alarm clock.

While he was very tempted to simply ignore whoever thought it was okay to call him before the sun was even starting to rise, the half-awake loon recognized the ring tone and, resignedly, answered it.

Just because he deemed the one calling him worthy of being answered, however, didn’t mean he was pleased by the literal wake-up call. “Steelbeak..you have five seconds to convince me not to go next door and smother you to death with one of your tacky pillows..”

That distinctive laugh could be heard through the receiver, sounding far more awake than anyone had any business being at this time of day. “Well, good mornin’ t’ you too, sunshine.” Before Dominic had a chance to protest the mocking nickname or threaten to hang up, the much more awake fowl continued speaking, this time in a slightly more serious tone. “Get up an’ get dressed, we’re leavin’ in fifteen. Don’t worry ‘bout breakfast, I’ve got ya covered.”

Well that certainly helped wake him up. Rubbing his eyes with his free hand, Dominic sat up and stretched his legs to help get his body on the same page as his mind. “What happened? Did High Command call and change the time?”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, it’s not that big of a deal. Just get dressed an’ meet me in the hall.” Just before he hung up, Steelbeak added one more thing as an afterthought. “Oh, an’ wear somethin’ warm- warmest ya got.”

Looking down at the phone in his hand once the dial tone began to play, Dominic was left with more questions than answers. Had the temperature gone down further since yesterday? Had something come up that changed High Command’s plans? Why was Steelbeak so awake and aware of what was going on?

Despite the many questions floating through his now-awake brain, Dominic did as his partner instructed and got ready for the day. Once his feathers were straightened properly, the loon opened his closet and moved aside his usual outfits for a much warmer one that he typically reserved for the coldest time of the year: A white coat with both light and dark blue accents, a belt-like clasp, a blue and white snowflake emblem on the bottom above the fluffy white trim, and even kept the aesthetic of his usual outfit by placing white buttons in a domino-like pattern over the blue squares of fabric on his torso. The coat had matching white gloves, blue and white boots, a white scarf with a snowflake emblem like the one on the bottom of his coat that was currently tucked into his collar to help him stay warm, and a white pork-pie style hat (he would never understand why people named clothing styles such ridiculous things, but the hat was comfortable) with a light blue hat band and two blue dots to match the coat’s motif.

By the time he left his apartment, Steelbeak was waiting in the hall for him with two thermoses of coffee. The taller man was also dressed in a different outfit than usual, but sharp red eyes could still see the edge of a white sleeve under the hem of the rooster’s long dark red coat that was zipped up all the way to the top, the brown fur-lined hood resting on his shoulders. While his pants were black like usual, they were thicker and reminded the loon of ski pants. The black gloves and dark red sunburst style boots (again, who chooses these names?) lined with fur that matched his hood completed the look.

Holding out one thermos for the darker bird to take, Steelbeak took a sip of coffee from his own and gave his partner a knowing grin. “Took ya long enough. C’mon, we gotta get goin’ ‘fore it gets too late.”

Dominic gladly took the thermos and its energy-granting contents, pleased as always to find it prepared exactly how he liked it- today’s batch even had traces of peppermint, which brought a small smile to the loon’s dark beak before he followed the rooster to the elevator at the end of the hallway. “Too late for what, exactly? The sun shouldn’t be up for another two hours.” He still had plenty of questions that had yet to be answered.

“Exactly.” A black-gloved finger pressed the button for the elevator, its owner smiling over the minor victory of the doors opening immediately rather than having to wait for them. “That’s why we gotta be back before then in case High Command calls.”

“Wait..” Dominic followed the taller man into the elevator, but made his confusion over their early departure transparently clear. “If High Command hasn’t called yet, then why are we leaving?”

The loon’s answer was that same knowing grin from before- the one that both frustrated him for being out of the loop regarding whatever was going on but also intrigued him because Steelbeak didn’t normally keep secrets (at least, not from HIM) for very long and usually shared whatever juicy bit of information or despicable plan was rattling around in his devious brain. “All you need t’ know is that it’s VERY important an’ you’re gonna be glad we left early. Trust me.” Well THAT just left the shorter bird with even MORE questions. Unfortunately, any further inquiries were put on hold once the elevator doors opened again and the duo stepped out into the parking garage. “We’re takin’ my car ‘til yours stops smellin’ like a mermaid’s bedroom.”

Dominic had no problems with that and willingly followed the other fowl to his overly flashy car- he wasn’t really in the mood to drive and probably wouldn’t be until he’d gotten through his first coffee. “Do I even want to ask how you know what that would smell like?”

“I’ve been ‘round the block a few times. Let’s just hope we don’t get any missions in the south pacific anytime soon.” Steelbeak’s chuckle made it hard to tell if he was joking or not, a typical part of his sense of humor that Dominic had gotten used to over the past five months of their relationship. He made a mental note to ask about the alleged mermaid encounter another time while the two of them got settled into their seats. “Put this on.”

Looking up from buckling his seatbelt, red eyes widened in mild disbelief when he saw the fabric being presented to him. “A blindfold?” Thinking he’d perhaps jumped to conclusions too soon, Dominic looked over the long strip of black silk with a gaudy pink heart pattern once again, but, no, it was definitely a blindfold, albeit a rather tacky one that made half of his mind want to ask why the other man had something like that in his possession…and the other half had a feeling it already knew... “Why-”

“I’m aductin’ ya.” The taller fowl jokingly said with that infuriatingly intriguing grin. “But you’re gonna love it, trust me.”

Red eyes rolled in feigned annoyance as Dominic took the blindfold with his free hand, but didn’t make any moves to put it on just yet. “And why, exactly, should I ‘trust you’ and impair my vision after you’ve admitted to abducting me?”

“ ‘cause you’d still kick my butt, even if ya couldn’t see it.” Well, yes, that was definitely true…and this was Steelbeak he was dealing with- the man hadn’t given him any reason not to trust him sine they’d started going out…

……

…………

“….Fine..” Setting his coffee down momentarily, Dominic tied the tacky silk over his eyes and leaned back in the passenger’s seat once he had the thermos back in his hands. “If you try anything, you’re hand is going straight into the bay…without the rest of you going in after it.”

Though he could no longer see it, the loon could easily hear the smirk in the metal-mouthed fowl’s voice as the car rumbled to life around him. “Wouldn’t dream of it, short-fuse.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was hard to tell how long they’d been driving with his vision obstructed, but Dominic had finished his coffee by the time he felt the car shut off. “Can I take this ridiculous thing off yet?”

There was a beat of silence, as if the vehicle’s other occupant was giving the question serious thought. “Hmmm…yeah, I guess so..” Before the white gloved fingers could start on the knot, however, an addendum was added to the previous comment. “But don’t open your eyes.”

Even with his eyes covered, Dominic hoped that the glare he was sending the other bird’s direction would still be noticeable. “I hope you know my patience is wearing thin. You’d better have a good reason for waking me up before dawn, dragging me out of bed, and taking me on a joyride without giving me ANY-”

“I’ve got a good reason. I promise.” Steelbeak’s voice was resolute. His tone betrayed no signs of mischief or ill intent, not that Dominic really expected there to be any, but it was still somewhat reassuring to hear it, anyway... “You’re just..gonna have t’ trust me on this one, Deedee.”

Dominic was prepared to argue the point, or simply take the blindfold off and be done with the whole charade (yesterday’s disasters combined with his unexpected awakening didn’t have him in the best of moods)……but that pause in Steelbeak’s last sentence gave him pause, as well.

The larger man didn’t sound as confident as he had leading up to this point. He sounded almost…hesitant? Uncertain? It was hard to say. Either way, it sounded more like he was asking for Dominic to trust him, rather than demanding it, but it was almost as if he wasn’t sure he’d be given such a thing…

“……” Taking in a very slow, deliberate breath before exhaling it in equal measure, the white gloved fingers finally began their task of untying the blindfold. “Fine.” Once the silk was gone, red eyes remained firmly shut. “But my earlier statement still stands.”

He heard a brief chuckle, but this one sounded relieved rather than amused. “Don’t worry, you’ll like this, I promise.” The car door on his left opened and shut, followed by a minute of silence before his own door opened. He felt a light tug on the blindfold still being clutched in his hand. “This way.”

Dominic followed his partner’s lead out of the vehicle, hearing the door close behind him once he was far enough away. He heard a brief click afterwards, as if something had been opened, but couldn’t tell what it was. As he was lead further away from the car, he noticed an odd sound and sensation below his boots- the ground beneath him was…crunchy? That was the only way he could think to describe it- crunchy in sound and loose in texture. “Where exactly are we?” He thought for a moment they were at the beach, but the sand there wouldn’t make this sort of noise. It…kind of felt like-

There was a creaking sound, like something heavy and metallic being pushed open. “Why don’t ya open up those pretty red eyes of yours an’ see for yourself?”

Taking the other man’s advice and doing so, Dominic’s red eyes finally opened for the first time since he’d gotten into the car with his partner, and what he saw momentarily took his breath away before it was exhaled in a visible puff.

The two fowls were standing just inside the gates of the very same park they went to during their first date. While it was still dark out with only the dim lighting of the street lamps providing any visibility, there was one very noticeable difference this time:

Snow.

Every inch of the park- and the city as a whole, it seemed- was covered in a thick blanket of snow. The park’s grassy fields had been completely buried under the fluffy white precipitation, as had the walking trails and sidewalks in and around the park. The trees and other shrubbery resembled cotton balls with how thoroughly their foliage had been coated, and in the distance Dominic could even see that the lake had frozen over. There were already so many of the beautifully cold flakes scattered about, and even more still falling from the thick, dark clouds above that showed no signs of stopping anytime soon.

Curious as to how he hadn’t felt the falling snow sooner, the loon’s red eyes drifted up and finally took notice of the large black and white striped umbrella above him. Looking back over his shoulder, he saw his partner watching him with an amused yet fond smile while holding the umbrella with his free hand.

The expression brought a slight flush to the darker bird’s cheeks that, even if it were noticeable, he’d blame on the cold if he was ever called out for it. “H-How-” He had even more questions now than before he’d gotten in the car, and, downplaying the slight stutter to his speech by clearing his throat and pretending it was just a dry throat from the cold air, he was intent on finally receiving some answers. “How is this possible? The reports all said it was supposed to be sunny today.”

Steelbeak shrugged one shoulder, the grin on his gleaming beak betraying the words that left it. “Y’know how unpredictable the weather is ‘round here…‘specially with all the supervillains runnin’ ‘round changin’ things just ‘cause they feel like it.” Apparently deciding the umbrella was no longer needed after the big reveal of his surprise, Steelbeak closed it and set it by the park gate. “Or, y’know, if someone offers ‘em a few million big ones t’ start a snowstorm and ‘suggests’ a few choice places t’ hit up an’ keep any annoyin’ superheroes busy.”

Dominic followed the lighter bird as he ventured deeper into the park, giving him a curious look accompanied by a quirked brow. “If you made all of this happen, then why was it so important to get out here this early? We could’ve waited until the sun was up.”

Hands now resting comfortably in the pockets of his coat, Steelbeak gave another calm shrug. “I dunno ‘bout you, but I don’t exactly trust the ‘freaky four’ t’ practice things like restraint.” Dark eyes glanced up at the thick clouds and the still plentiful amount of snow falling down on the city below. “At the rate this stuff’s fallin’, I figure we got about three hours before the snow drifts get taller than you…short fuse.” He side-eyed the loon with a smirk. Red eyes rolled as Dominic shook his head, choosing to ignore the jab at his height compared to his monumentally tall partner. (Honestly, though, who didn’t seem short compared to him?) “And..” The loon’s attention returned to the other fowl when he heard the slightly softer, less sef-assured tone in Steelbeak’s voice. Steelbeak was glancing away now, a bit of red visible beneath his off-white cheek feathers. “I..know ya love this stuff…figured you’d wanna come out an’ have some fun before the whole town gets snowed in…plus there’d be no one out this early, less people around an’ all that…”

It was once again Dominic’s turn to blush. Any irritation he’d felt from his unplanned awakening was forgotten almost instantly. Now that he had a chance to look at- really look at- his partner, he noticed the things he’d missed earlier in the chaotic whirlwind of events leading up to this point: His feathers had clearly not been preened since his shower the previous night. His comb wasn’t standing up quite as straight as it usually did. His eyes were bloodshot, albeit only slightly- he must’ve taken eye drops at some point to hide it. His eyes also had dark circles under them that indicated-

“You didn’t sleep last night.” Although the red-eyed fowl was truly touched by how much thought Steelbeak put into all of this, he still couldn’t help but ask- “Why?” He elaborated further when he was met with a confused look from the taller bird. “Why go to all this trouble?”

The question made a grin appear once more on the metal-mouthed rooster’s beak. “C’mon, stripes, between the two of us, YOU’RE the one that actually WENT t’ school.” He chuckled, the grin on his face practically beaming. “Thought you’d know what a ‘snow day’ was.”

“A..snow day?” Wow, that was a term Dominic hadn’t heard since his school days.

“Ding, ding! Startin’ t’ ring any bells yet, wise guy?” Steelbeak teased as the pair walked over the park’s snowy trail (or at least what one could assume to be since it was slightly lower than the ground around it). Once he’d had his laugh, though, the rooster’s grin softened into something calmer. “High Command needed a sunny day t’ make their plan work- no sun, no stupid eight AM mission, so we get the day off. Plus, even if High Command decides they wanna try somethin’ else, they’re gonna need time t’ come up with a new plan an’ send a helicopter t’ pick us up since the streets’ll be too buried t’ drive by then, so we get plenty of time t’ relax an’ enjoy breakfast when we get back.” One dark gray eye winked down at the loon playfully. “Sounds like a win-win, if ya ask me.”

Darn, that grin was infectious. “A win-win indeed.” Dominic’s own dark beak soon lit up with a smile as he nodded in wholehearted agreement. He had to give credit where it was due- that was a very well thought out and expertly executed plan. “I have to say, I’m impressed you came up with all of this so quickly.”

“Hey, I didn’t get t’ be Chief Officer just ‘cause of my good looks- there’s a pretty big brain behind this gorgeous mug.” Ah, and there was that cocky grin and wink followed by the exaggeratedly “flirtatious” eyebrow wiggle that never failed to make the loon laugh.

“I’ll have to keep that in mind.” Dominic wasn’t sure how, but he managed to get the whole sentence out with only a few quiet, barely restrained chuckles slipping in. If there was one thing that Steelbeak knew how to do, it was make his partner smile and laugh and feel a hundred times lighter than he had before.

After the misery of the previous day, Dominic decided, he’d gladly take this much more pleasant alternative.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The deadly duo spent a while simply walking around and admiring the fresh-fallen, undisturbed beauty of the snow covered park. It felt so much like their first date- the two of them just walking around, conversing freely, enjoying one another’s company without anyone around to bother them; he’d even talked Steelbeak into ice skating with him over the frozen lake and was pleased to see that the rooster’s balance had improved considerably, only needing to be helped up a handful of times.

While it felt similar, though, it also felt like a completely different experience altogether. Back then, they’d still been getting to know each other, getting used to one another. Now, they were still learning things about each other, but there was a greater feeling of familiarity, as well as a sense of comfort that came from that familiarity. There were still boundaries they were discovering and learning how to work around, but it was leaps and bounds from where they were before that night almost half a year ago.

As he passed beneath a tree off of the park trail, Dominic’s musing on his relationship with his partner was stopped by a sudden clump of snow falling onto his hat.

He tipped his head back, looking up at the glistening branches curiously and allowing the frozen flakes still resting on his hat to fall off. Well, the tree WAS heavily coated with snow and ice, a stray breeze could have-

Another clump of snow, this one rounder and more firmly packed, descended at a slight curve- as if it had been thrown from somewhere behind him- towards him and hit the surprised loon in the face before he had time to move away. “!!” Brushing the snow from his eyes, he looked back over his shoulder at the only other person in the park. “I saw that..”

Steelbeak, who’d stopped a few feet away from the tree to kneel down and adjust one of his boots, gave the loon a slightly raised brow and his best attempt at an earnestly confused expression. “Saw what?” His attempt at faking innocence would have been much more effective if it wasn’t clear that he was holding back a smile and that one of his gloves still had snow on it.

Oh, so he wanted to play games, huh? Fine. Dominic could play, too. “Nevermind…must have been my imagination…”

Stepping closer to the tree, one of the loon’s hands was freed from its glove- his back to the rooster as he walked around the base to keep it out of his sight. After slipping the glove into his pocket, his still-gloved fingers trailed along the snow-covered tree. From an outside perspective, it would look like he was idly tracing simple patterns into the powdery snow of the trunk. In reality, however, he was readying his ammunition. By the time there was enough snow accumulated in his covered palm, Dominic had reached the other side of the tree and was able to quickly transfer it into his other hand without being noticed. A quick packing between both hands and the sharpshooter had his weapon locked and loaded.

When he suddenly made a sharp turn and jumped back out the way he came, Dominic was not at all surprised to see Steelbeak waiting with another sizable clump of snow in his hands, clearly prepared to throw it at the other side of the large tree with his hands raised over his head.

Steelbeak, on the other hand, was very surprised to see the loon doubling back and catching him in the act. So surprised, in fact, that he didn’t have time to dodge the snowball that was sent hurtling towards him. “!!!” The snowball found its target’s face, causing said target to let out a startled squawk from literally going snow-blind. The whole ordeal made his hands move just enough to turn his own weapon against him, the clump of snow that was once above him now falling all over his head and torso. “Hey, no fair! Cheap shot!”

Dominic smirked at the prone rooster, quickly forming more ammunition and ducking behind the tree for cover while his “enemy” was busy shaking and wiping snow off of himself. “I was merely returning the favor- now we’re even.”

With his vision restored and most of the snow removed, Steelbeak smirked as well and readied another oversized snowball. “Well, it ain’t gonna stay that way for long.”

And with that, the war had begun. The entire park quickly became a battleground as two expertly trained secret agents crafted and launched their handmade weapons at one another.

Dominic had the clear advantage- snow was his favorite weather and he was truly in his element. The aquatic fowl was able to quickly craft practically perfect spheres from the terrain around him and throw them with pin-point accuracy. The tree he’d stationed himself behind made for good cover between shots, allowing him to safely stockpile ammunition and retreat when he was under heavy fire. From time to time, he’d dart out and weave between the surrounding foliage to fire off multiple shots and even slid across the lake a few times to stay ahead of his adversary.

Steelbeak, on the other hand, was clearly not as used to interacting with the frozen liquids he attempted to wield. The metal mouthed fowl didn’t have the finesse (or apparently the knowledge to take off his gloves and use the heat of his hands to melt the dry flakes) to craft small snowballs, and instead scooped up large quantities of the loose powder and form what could only be described as “snow cannonballs”. These larger projectiles took more time to make and weren’t as precise as his quick-footed and quick-witted rival’s smaller spheres, but they were capable of devastating damage when they managed to hit and knocked the slippery sharpshooter off of his feet more than once.

The battle raged for longer than either combatant cared to keep track of, the once pristine park now full of holes and gashes from their wintery war. The two snow covered fowls laughed and shot comebacks at one another along with their projectiles. It was certainly a sight to behold- a duo of deadly spies who carried out assassinations and mass slaughters of enemies on a regular basis now using their battle skills and instincts to throw balls of snow at each other with the excitement of school children. If anyone from work- be it an eggman, fellow agent, or Darkwing Duck himself- were to see the well-known chief officer of FOWL and his normally stern, red-eyed-glare wielding partner and tell others what they’d witnessed, chances were that no one would ever believe them.

Dominic himself could hardly believe it, but he was having far too much fun to stop. Retreating back to the trunk of his chosen shelter, the loon managed to hit Steelbeak’s large and vibrant tail feathers with his last snowball before working rapidly to replenish his supply.

“Yeow!” Steelbeak yelped from the packed precipitation striking his perfectly plumaged posterior. “Ohh, you’re gonna get it for that one!”

From his hiding spot, Dominic could hear the larger bird making another of his plus-sized snowballs. “We’ll see about that!” He parroted the other man’s earlier words over his shoulder while topping off his ammo cache. Confident he could dodge whatever size the lighter fowl’s newest snow monstrosity happened to be, Dominic left his makeshift fort and prepared to fire off his more manageable artillery.

His confidence was immediately shaken by the small-boulder sized chunk of snow hitting his face with enough force to send him toppling into a deep snow bank.

It took a minute for Dominic’s world to stop spinning, and a few more seconds for his senses to return enough to realize that the hazy white blur he saw was snow piled around his head and (thankfully) not spotty vision caused by a concussion. As he sat up, the loon shook the snow off of himself, needing to retrieve his nearly camouflaged hat from the white mound.

His attention was soon stolen, however, by the menacing shadow that was cast over him. Looking up, red eyes widened at the sight of his opponent holding an absolutely MASSIVE chunk of snow even larger than the last one over his head with a smirk. “Any last words, wise guy?”

Hands planting themselves against the ground behind him in preparation to run or fight back, Dominic’s gaze darted rapidly around his surroundings. There had to be a way out of this!

Then, he found it- his bare hand touching something textured and rough hidden within the snow. Looking back up at the tree above them, a plan at last formed in the clever fowl’s fiendish mind. He’d only have one shot at this…

Gripping the object he’d found, Dominic smirked while making eye contact with the unaware rooster. “Yes…but would it be in bad taste to say ‘freeze’?” Without any further explanation, the loon’s bare hand emerged from its hiding place in the snow to briefly reveal the stick it was clutching before throwing it at a sharp angle that just barely missed the other fowl’s head.

“What the-?!” Steelbeak, at first thinking the projectile was meant for him, instinctively ducked to avoid it, nearly dropping the colossal cold-ball clutched in his hands. Thinking himself safe, he smirked back down at the presumed-defenseless loon beneath him. “Your aim’s slippin’, Deedee- ya missed.”

“Oh, I don’t miss.” The darker bird replied with a wicked smirk before putting his weight back onto his arms and rolling the extra foot he needed to avoid what was about to happen.

Following the other man’s red-eyed gaze up to the tree he was still standing beneath, Steelbeak’s own dark eyes widened at the sight of the stick Dominic had thrown striking the completely-snow-covered top of the tree. By now, there was so much of the frozen precipitation accumulated on its branches that it looked nearly twice its normal size. This made the realization of what was about to happen all the more chilling- in more than just the literal sense.

“Hmph…well played, stripes..” Was all Steelbeak could get out before the domino effect came into play. The disturbed snow on top of the tree fell, falling into and shaking the snow on the next branch. This pattern cascaded down through every level of the tree, resulting in a miniature avalanche that left the large fowl buried under an even larger mound of snow before he had time to run away.

The backdraft of air and snow was strong enough that Dominic had to shield his eyes with his gloved hand, holding onto his hat with the other to keep it from blowing away. Peeking out once the air had settled, a pleased smirk found its way to the loon’s beak as he observed his handiwork: The entire base of the tree and a good portion of the trunk were now buried in snow. Where his opponent once stood was crumpled lump in the mound of white flakes with no sign he was alive other than the single black-gloved hand sticking straight up like a flag- one of surrender, the loon mused jokingly.

Deciding it would be best for everyone if the taller man didn’t catch hypothermia or pneumonia, Dominic figured it would be best to show mercy for once and dig his fallen adversary out of his precipitated prison. Dawning his second glove once again, white-covered hands made short work of shoveling the equally white powder away from the lump beneath the extended black glove. After a minute or two, he found a gleaming metal beak within the snow, and soon the rest of the head attached to it became visible.

Dark grey eyes blinked the world into focus as their owner looked up dramatically. “Wow, think I finally found the light at the end of the tunnel.” The same eyes glanced over at his rescuer, the corner of his mouth lifting into a small smirk. “Gotta say, you’re not quite what I expected an angel t’ look like……but I ain’t complainin’.”

Dominic returned the look in kind and winked down at the still partially buried man beneath him. “Keep it up and I’ll send you to heaven my way.” A quiet laugh shook the smaller bird’s shoulders as he shook his head with an undeniably fond smile. “While I do admire your ability to flirt while half frozen, frostbite isn’t exactly charming- let’s get you out of there, shall we?”

With a quiet chuckle of his own, Steelbeak started sitting up to extricate himself from his icy prison. “Yeah, probably for the best..think I feel my tail feathers freezin’ o-” He froze (not literally for now), eyes blinking in surprise as they looked from the loon’s face down to his own hand that was still sticking out of the snow.

Clasped firmly around the rooster’s large black-gloved hand was a smaller one clad in white.

Dominic knew what the other’s look was about and why the normally talkative man had gone uncharacteristically silent. “It’s fine.” He offered with a small but reassuring smile before digging his heels into the snow and pulling the other man back up onto his feet.

Once he was back to his usual towering six and half foot (seven if his comb was counted) height, Steelbeak looked down at the hand still clasped around his own with an expression somewhere between elated and nervous. “So…am I ‘bout t’ go swimmin’ in the bay after that..?”

Dominic shook his head, giving the larger palm in his own a light squeeze for reassurance. “Not this time. I want to keep it around for now.”

The nervousness left the lighter fowl’s expression, leaving him with a smile that tried its best to look calm but was undermined by the excited gleam in his dark eyes. “Keep it for as long as ya want, red eyes.”

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer.” The loon gave a softer smile, two sets of fingers in contrasting colors lacing and locking together as if it were their natural state.

Steelbeak, as well as many other individuals within FOWL, were well aware of Dominic’s “quirk”, as High Command liked to call it. After witnessing the loon lose it more than once on some poor, unsuspecting fool that made the innocent mistake of putting their hand on the touch-triggered bird the wrong way, the chief officer had made it a mental priority to always be mindful of his partner’s contact-based aggression and avoid touching him without warning, even after they’d started dating. He never made any “moves” on the darker fowl like he would with the girls he’d “dated” in the past- no sneaky arm finding its way around an unaware shoulder or waist, no sudden brush of fingers along the side of a striped neck, or even a suave attempt to steal a kiss. The rooster had a front-row seat to multiple showings of what the shorter man could do when someone didn’t properly respect his personal space, and he was determined to never be anything more than an observer if he could help it. He’d only taken what he was given and never even made a move to hold the aquatic avian’s hand.

While Dominic was definitely grateful for Steelbeak’s cautious-patience and respect for his boundaries, he felt the taller man fretted a bit too much about it from time to time. They’d been together for months now, seen each other through countless moments both life-threateningly dangerous and calmingly domestic. At this point, out of everyone in his life, his partner was the one person he felt the most confident that he wouldn’t hurt with one of his violent outbursts.

The discomfort would always be there in the back of his mind, Dominic knew this from the time he’d spent with his last partner and the others he’d dated before, but it was worth it for the warm feeling that bloomed within him. The contact was diluted by both of their gloves, allowing him to feel and familiarize himself with the sensation of Steelbeak’s palm and fingers against his own without letting the discomfort build up too much. He knew he would want more soon, and he could tell from the longing looks he’d caught when the rooster let his guard down from time to time that Steelbeak wanted it as well, but, right here, right now, it was enough for both of them to stand in the snow together with their fingers entwined.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The pair of snow-covered agents arrived back home just in the nick of time, giving themselves about fifteen minutes to change out of their winter attire, rid themselves of any traces of their pre-dawn excursion, and throw their usual coats on over top of more casual clothes to give off the image of readiness. They staged themselves in Steelbeak’s living room, acting like they were about to leave just in time for the communication screen to turn itself on.

“Chief Officer Steelbeak, Agent Domino.” The usual speaking member of High Command looked less than pleased. “There’s been a change of plans.”

Dominic, doing an excellent job of feigning ignorance, looked at his leader with a confused expression, one brow raised inquisitively. “Why? Did something happen to the device?” From the corner of his eye, he caught Steelbeak trying not to smirk and barely succeeding.

The silhouetted person shook his head with a scowl. “The Fearsome Four decided to bury the entire state in a snow storm. The mission is cancelled for now, but be ready in case the weather changes.”

Receiving a “Yes, sir” from both agents, the screen went dark once more.

Steelbeak gave his partner a knowing smirk. “Somethin’ tells me this storm ain’t stoppin’ for a while. How ‘bout we get nice an’ comfy ‘til then?”

Dominic gave a knowing smirk of his own. “Of course- we’ll need to save our strength for when it clears.”

There was a beat of silence before both of their expressions melted into amused grins and they laughed quietly over their flawless performance. The pair took off their coats and hung them on Steelbeak’s coat rack to enjoy their more comfortable attire- Dominic wearing a soft red turtleneck sweater and Steelbeak sporting a light grey long-sleeved Henley style shirt (again, who gets payed to pick these names?) with dark blue trim and a pair of slightly darker grey sweatpants.

Within half an hour they’d lit a fire in Steelbeak’s fireplace- Dominic withheld his remarks about how unnecessarily extravagant it was to have a fireplace in an apartment complex with fully functioning heat since, begrudgingly, he had to admit it was appropriately cozy on a day like this- and the loon was seated patiently in the same spot as last night while his partner brought him a more substantial breakfast than his earlier coffee.

As he waited, Dominic brought the tall mug in his hands to his lips and took a sip with a pleased hum. While it didn’t have the same kick as his previous drink, he wasn’t about to complain about the creamy hot chocolate Steelbeak had prepared for him- the kind made by pouring hot milk and cream over chocolate until it melted, not “that watered down powdered garbage” as the rooster would put it- especially not when he’d made him a peppermint one with red striped marshmallows. There were even bits of crushed candy cane coating the rim and a pair of full sized candy canes hanging from the edge. Picking one up by its crook, the content loon used the candy to briefly stir his drink and melt into it before popping it into his mouth and happily eating the remains.

Dominic had once mentioned to Steelbeak that candy canes were a preferred treat during winter when they’d been having a conversation about comfort food. The peppermint sticks were a childhood favorite- a preference that was quite fortunate since many places gave the sweet treats out for free once the “holiday spirit” began to spread, making it an easy to obtain a bit of food when his mother was unable to provide more than the bare minimum needed for the two of them to survive. His love for the striped sweets continued into adulthood, giving him a fondness for the simple candy whenever the season came about.

That bit of information had only been shared between the two once, but it was apparently enough for Steelbeak to plan ahead and keep a box of candy canes handy in his large pantry. He’d never admit he went out and purchased them simply because his partner liked them, though, even if he himself wasn’t as big of a fan of peppermint (that little prank on their first date probably didn’t help much).

This, Dominic had realized some time ago, was something Steelbeak did often- holding onto small, seemingly inconsequential bits of information and using them to surprise his partner later. Dominic mentions his favorite color while they’re making fun of a ridiculous fashion model show? He receives a new shirt in that color a few weeks later. Dominic makes a disgusted face and shudders upon seeing a cockroach while they’re in a warehouse? Steelbeak suddenly starts killing or removing any insects he sees when they’re together. Dominic mentions on their first date that he enjoys snow and ice skating? His partner pays supervillains to alter the weather and takes him out early to enjoy it properly.

It may have been an instinct developed after spending nearly two decades as a spy- information had value in their line of work, after all- or it may have simply been a trait unique to Steelbeak himself. Either way, Dominic found it extremely endearing and was grateful for his partner’s memory and small acts of care & consideration.

A plate fresh cinnamon rolls and blueberries being set on the coffee table in front of him brought Dominic’s gaze up to look at the very man who’d been occupying his thoughts.

Steelbeak, balancing a matching plate in one hand and a large mug of hot chocolate in the other, winked down at the loon as he set his own breakfast on the table near his end of the couch. “Told ya I had breakfast taken care of, Dom.”

“A good thing you did, too- I’m famished.” Dominic set his mug on the table and exchanged it for one of the enticingly large rolls on his plate. “I’ll pay you back by taking care of lunch.”

Steelbeak chuckled, knowing he wouldn’t win if he tried to argue. “Fine. But we split the difference at dinner. Deal?”

“Deal.” Dominic agreed with a quiet chuckle of his own before digging into his roll.

The pair sat and ate in comfortable silence for a while, enjoying their sweet treats and warm drinks in front of the crackling fire. Once they were finished, Dominic volunteered to take care of the dishes, despite Steelbeak’s adamant insistence that he didn’t need to- again, though, he knew he wouldn’t win once the other man stated he was going to take care of it.

When Dominic returned to the living room, he was surprised to see Steelbeak had wrapped himself in a large, heavily padded quilt in the time he’d been away. “Still feeling cold?”

“Kinda..” Steelbeak yawned and pulled the blanket tighter around himself, his legs drawn up under it as he sat curled up on the couch. “That an’ my adrenaline an’ coffee finally ran out…” Off-white fingers rubbed at extremely tired dark gray eyes. “Think I’m gonna be outta commission ‘til lunch…won’t hold it against ya if ya head back t’ your place.”

Dominic considered it for a moment, but eventually shook his head and picked up a book he’d left on one of Steelbeak’s end tables during his last visit. “I think I’ll stay.”

Steelbeak shrugged, settling in for a much needed nap. “Suit yourself, stripes..” His eyes were nearly closed when a weight against his side made them flutter open once more. “Hm..?”

Rather than take his usual spot at the opposite end of the couch, Dominic had opted to sit right next to Steelbeak- to the point where he was sitting sideways with his head reclined against the rooster’s blanket-covered shoulder and his legs were spread out over the empty cushions.

“Just getting comfortable.” Was the only explanation he needed to give.

Both men had soft, content smiles on their faces as they settled in for some much needed relaxation. They intended to enjoy their snow day as much as possible by doing as little as possible. After all, with this city’s unpredictable weather, who’s to say when they’ll get another chance?

Then again, Dominic thought as he opened his book to its marked page, perhaps the weather in St Canard wasn’t that bad.

End Notes: Hope you all enjoyed this wintery fun filled fic and have a happy holiday season =^.^=

#darkwing duck #dwd #Steelbeak #Dominic Domino #steeldomino #darkwing duck oc #dwd oc #not my oc #thefriendlyfour

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brinaedwards · 4 years ago

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Honey, I think We F*$#@# Up the Kids

The thing about this class that is really awesome is the fact that I can take a day to myself, watch movies and still call it homework. Euphoria took me a couple days of binge watching but still, it was nice to relax and take in films that I would have never watched on my own. Some I enjoyed like MID90's, some I did not, KIDS. Like I said in my last post, I would not want to watch that film again. I have no real reason as to why not other than the fact I just did not enjoy watching it. Well the scene where Capser sucks kool-aid out of a tampon, yeah that could be a reason why not to watch it again.Everything else was really good though, then again I could watch The Breakfast Club all the time.

As a common theme of these posts I have a list of questions that I am required to answer next to me. After watching these films/tv shows, the character that I identified with most is a combination of characters. Specifically from Euphoria because honesty that show is pretty close to society today. Kat is someone I can easily relate to because when I was in High School, I was very much overweight. I never noticed it because I was surrounded by friends that didn’t make me feel overweight. Like Kat, those friends were really skinny and included me in things like going out and having a good time. I forgot what year but sometime during high school I met a kid who I fell head over heels for, similar to how Jules fell for “Tyler”. However, I wasn’t catfished or anything like that but I was very manipulated by this dude, let's call him “Tyller #2”. . We were never together but I was like his side chick in a way. Similar to Jules, “Tyler #2” convinced me to do things that I would never think of doing but being in a vulnerable state at the time, it was easy for him to take advantage of certain situations. For the first time I was very conscious of my weight, and tried all the dieting techniques out there and none of it worked. I eventually ended up being with someone else who actually made me happy and confident. But “Tyler #2” got under my skin again and I eventually broke up with the dude I was with under the false promise of being with “Tyler #2”. For years I was under this man-child's thumb and like Kat I spiraled, desperate to try and find myself. I would confide in friends and they would tell me to get away from this dude but I never listened. This kept going on for years. I ended up becoming friends with some not so great people because of it. Thankfully I got away before anything super awful happened. But back to “Tyler #2”. It was about a year into college that I got over “Tyler #2”, and that's because I woke up one day. I will never forget this but I remember him saying to me, “Maybe you should lower your standards and then you can get a guy”. I don’t know why that hit me so hard but in that moment I came to this realization that I shouldn't have to lower my standards for anyone, if anything I need to raise them. And that is exactly what I did.I blocked “Tyler #2” from all my social media, and when he called me out on it one day I looked at him and said “you are a disgusting, sad piece of shit”. After that moment I felt free. Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I ended up losing a lot of weight and gained confidence back in myself. I found someone who exceeded my standards and I've been with him for three years now. I haven't seen or spoken to “Tyler #2” for a long time and I hope to keep it that way. There are things I know he has done to girls he was with, things that should have gotten him charged with assault but, of course nothing could ever be proven. That's why I can identify with Kat, Jules and come to think of it, even Maddy.

I guess that goes into the themes these films/tv shows portray in youth. Abuse, Social Pressure and Sex. When I would watch things like this around my parents or brothers when I was younger, they always gave me a look of shock and disbelief. As if things like that don’t happen in today's world or ever happened. And of course when trying to explain to them that things like that happen, they get defensive or even a bit disappointed that issues were never brought up. I think that’s because things like this aren’t easy to explain, it's more than words can explain. A lot of it has to do with social pressures today, I mean social pressures such as the pressures of getting good grades, meeting parental expectations, peer pressure and massive world pressure that is being forced on us today. Euphoria didn’t go too much into detail of social pressure as much as it did with abuse and sex but The Breakfast Club on the other hand oozed it. For example, characters such as Claire, Andrew and Brian each went through their own pressures. For Brian he is pressured by his mother to get good grades no matter what, eventually the pressure of failing a class was too much for him and he brought a gun into the school. Yes it was a flare gun but the principle is there. In an article from the Pew Research Center, a study showed that “61% of teens today feel pressure to get good grades” That alone can cause anyone to go off the edge not to mention the public expectations put on youth, for example, Andrew having to win and prove to his father that he is cool. And how Claire values what her friends would think if they knew she wanted to be friends with the others. All those things are sometimes built up in one person and it's absolutely terrifying. The Guardian article on how Euphoria captures teen melancholy briefly mentions how we are a generation of school shooter drills. (I don’t know if that is meant as a description of how we are as a generation but that's not the point of trying to make). What I am trying to get across is that social pressure placed on youth today is scary, especially since there was a time where every few weeks there was a school shooting. I don’t want to get into gun laws because that is a long post for another day. I just want to get into the mentality of it all because The Breakfast Club highlights an important issue to mental health and what kids even now go through.

I remember being in highschool and my school had a serious shooter threat. My parents still sent me to school because they felt that nothing would happen. Nothing did but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t absolutely terrified. I did not attend any classes that day, instead I stayed in the band room that day because if anything were to happenI could hide in a cubby or run out the back door. Even more recently a few years back when SUNY Orange got a shooter threat, I didn’t even go and neither did a lot of people.

I am so thrilled that mental health awareness is something that is being recognized and taken seriously. The stigma behind needing therapy and vocalizing feelings needs to end, especially the stigma of gender roles. Abuse is a theme that is presented in all the films/tv shows watched this week. The Breakfast Club shows insight on domestic physical abuse through John, Euphoria gets more into the psychological, emotional, physical and self abuse that teens go through. This theme especially is something that needs to become more recognized and addressed. Abuse is not just physical, it is mental and emotional. Nate abuses both mentally and physically by using Jules as duct tape to make problems go away by black mailing her. With Maddy he uses his control physically, verbally assaulting her about how she dresses, oh the list can go on and on.

Sex is a common theme in all the films/tv shows this week and that is something that every teen goes through. At that age your body goes through changes and it’s only natural that it is explored. In todays world sex is not much of a taboo like it was for our parents. But at the same time I feel that it is. When I was in highschool sex was not talked about. It was mentioned once in health class but that was it. No one went into detail, there was no explanation about stds, how females need to check for things, the list goes on. KIDS was a film that went into sex way more than all the other films/tv shows. It highlighted the horrors of unprotected sex, such as contracting HIV. As much as I disliked this film it is one that needs to be seen. The lectures talk about the “Disneyfication” of things today but it's that way of thinking that is hurting the youth of today. I can understand that parents don’t want their kids going through such trama at a young age, but if they are not being taught properly, not being educated they are going to find out on their own. Any issues kids face today parents right it off as a “part of growing up” but when your kid doesn't know what a condom is, or how to properly use birth control what do you expect is going to happen when the daughter is pregnant or the son has an std? That is not a part of growing up, that is just pure negligence on the parents and teachers. I could really go way into more of a rant but I feel that a topic like this needs its own blog and this one is already long af. Here are links to videos that I watched that go more into detail about education today. I promise they are not that long.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Yt6raj-S1M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnC6IABJXOI

Long story short, abuse, social pressure and sex are themes that kids face on a daily basis. It’s amazing that there are shows out there like Euphoria or films such as KIDS and The Breakfast Club to make it known that this is real. The world is a scary place, but that does not mean censoring that bad stuff. It means that the youth need to be prepared for a shit world, and if they’re not shown or educated about things before the fact then honey, I think we f*$#@# up the kids.

To make this whole post a little lighter let's just talk about the music, the Euphoria soundtrack was all of today's music, which if you listen to half of them its all about getting laid and doing drugs. Sort of on theme of the show don’t you think?For MID90’s the soundtrack fitted the “skater” “punk” theme. A soundtrack is something that can spark a memory, make it feel relatable. Take you back to a time where you had a similar experience. For example, certain songs I listen to take me back to when I used to be at Billy Joes in Newburgh line dancing, getting wasted and then eating pancakes at the Alexis Diner. It makes me think of what kind of playlist would describe my adolescence. Oof, well isn’t that a trip down memory lane.

I grew up listening to metal, my brothers have their own metal band, so I would be the only toddler sitting on the amps coloring not giving a shit about all the grimey people in the audience haha. It would be only fitting that my playlist would consist of metal & rock. However, as I got older I enjoyed pop songs and a couple edm mixes. My list would probably be:

Fame - David Bowie

ARTPOP - Lady Gaga

Bring Me to Life - Evanescence

Everytime We Touch - Cascada

Evil Angel - Breaking Benjamin

Forest - System of a Down

Hype - NEFFEX

My Curse - Killswitch Engage

Nightmare - Avenged Sevenfold

Shout 2000 - Disturbed

https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/my-adolescents/pl.u-8aAVVgafjg0W9A

These would be songs I would listen to non-stop as teen in middle school/ high school. “Fame” is a song that just makes me dance. I mean who doesn’t love a good David Bowie song right? “ARTPOP” is something that brings me back to when me and my uncle went to NYC to see Lady Gaga at the opening of H&M. “Bring Me to Life” is a song that honestly, all kids that are exploring metal/rock come across, the same is said for “Nightmare” and “My Curse”. “Hype” and “Everytime We Touch” takes me back to when I used to go to parties. I don’t know why but these were songs that would be on, I think because everyone was probably too drunk to care. “Shout 2000” is a song that my brother introduced me to, he would have this specific Distrubed album playing non stop and im sure thats why the CD got all scratched up. Ahh the days of CD’s, I feel that I’m part of the generation that saw the last of those things. “Evil Angel” is a song that I played all the time on my ipod. Breaking Benjamin was the best band I ever heard and when I got the chance to see them live it was amazing! As for “Forest”, well, System of A Down has such a chaotic, emotional style that you can’t just help but to headbang to their songs. This was always one of my favorites. As I got older my music taste has expanded to musicals, classical, pop, jazz, kind of every genre but country haha. Sorry country.

WORK CITED

“The Sadness of Euphoria: How the Show Captures Teen Melancholy.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 25 June 2019, www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2019/jun/25/the-sadness-of-euphoria-how-the-show-captures-teen-melancholy.

Horowitz, Juliana Menasce, and Nikki Graf. “Most U.S. Teens SEE Anxiety, Depression as Major Problems.” Pew Research Center's Social & Demographic Trends Project, Pew Research Center, 30 May 2020, www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/02/20/most-u-s-teens-see-anxiety-and-depression-as-a-major-problem-among-their-peers/.

O'Keeffe, Gwenn Schurgin, et al. “The Impact of Social Media on Children, Adolescents, and Families.” American Academy of Pediatrics, American Academy of Pediatrics, 1 Apr. 2011, pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/127/4/800.

TEDxTalks, director. YouTube, YouTube, 2 May 2014, www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnC6IABJXOI.

TEDxTalks, director. YouTube, YouTube, 6 Feb. 2015, www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Yt6raj-S1M.

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iamnotawomanimagod · 5 years ago

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Manic Review - From “Least-Best” to Best

Halsey released her third studio album on 1/17/2020, and it is easily her best. I’ve wanted to talk about it, but first, I need to figure out how I feel about each track in relation to the others. So this is mostly for me, but I’d love to hear how other people are feeling too!

I love all of these songs, I feel so blessed with this album, which is why this goes from “least-best” to “best”, not “worst.”

(I know that’s kind of splitting semantic hairs, but I refuse to disrespect this album, lmao.)

So, without further ado, here are my favorite songs on Manic, starting with the one I like the least:

16 - “Alanis’s Interlude”

This is THE bisexual anthem we’ve all been waiting for from Halsey. It’s cool, sexy, and features some stellar vocals from both Alanis and Halsey. It ranks so low for me only because I’m not a huge fan of the chorus, the machine drums, or the melody, despite loving the message. But the verses are fire, and so are the vocals.

15 - “Still Learning”

I think this track will be a slow-grower for me, the way “Devil in Me” was. Maybe it’s just because it comes on the heels of the deeply, deeply impactful “More” - but I found this didn’t strike the chord I thought it would. It’s a beautiful song, though, and very meaningful to Halsey’s personal journey. I think seeing it live might change my mind about it.

14 - “Finally // beautiful stranger”

This might be the sweetest side of Halsey that we’ve ever seen, especially when it comes to romantic love. The fact that it was inspired by Yungblud makes my heart ache a bit. I really love the duality of the different versions of Ashley in the video. That being said, the genre/style of song isn’t my personal favorite. Her vocals are amazing, though, and some of the lyrics are really poetic. I know this will be an especially tender one live, in front of a Halsey crowd. I can just picture everyone swaying and singing along.

13 - “SUGA’s Interlude”

This interlude is such a soft, sad moment on the album, and it fits really well before “More.” SUGA’s Interlude is all about the way fame has changed both artists, and about how they’ll know when it’s time to step away from the spotlight - and how that might change them. SUGA has excellent flow, and Halsey’s delicate, pining vocals on the chorus is a perfect complement to his introspective rapping. It’s a really sweet song, and part of why it works so well on the album is because it creates such a heartfelt prelude to “More”. The song all about leaving fame behind, followed by the song about loving her unborn child, and how she badly wants to be a mother...gives me chills, man, literal chills. I think I’d like it more if I spoke Korean, but honestly, Korean Halsey fans deserve somethin’ special, so I’m okay with it.

12 - “You should be sad”

I still don’t know if I quite “buy” Y’allsey, but I can’t deny that this is a really fun song. Singing along to the lyrics is so satisfying, and the music video provided us with some serious Looks. The guitar riff between the chorus and the verses makes me feel things, and so does the line: “I’m so glad I never ever had a baby with you,” especially after hearing “More”. I like this song a lot, but compared to the rest of the album, it’s not in my top ten. I think it’ll be a really, really fun one live, though.

11 - “Without Me”

This song and I share a birthday! It’s also where Manic really began, although we had no idea that was the case, at the time. This was the first time Halsey wrote from such a specific and personal place, knowing we would all immediately recognize who the song targeted and why. She’s used this song brilliantly since then, coming up with a dozen different interpretations and set pieces, performing it while chained to a post, while revealing the messages of her cheating ex, while dancing with a beautiful girl, and even more. (It helps a lot that she performed this song with Jade Chynoweth, one of my all-time favorite dancers, and responded to the backlash of that performance by doing it again, but even gayer, just a few weeks later.) We owe a lot to this song. And, as it turns out, it really fits in with the story of Manic, and with the tone, from both a sonic and thematic perspective. I’m still a little tired of it, though, which is why it ranks so low. But - credit where it’s due!

10 - “Dominic’s Interlude”

This one surprised me, although I went in with zero expectations, not knowing who Dominic Fike was. I wish Halsey was actually in this song, but other than that, I think it’s a great interlude. Not to mention: “If you’re looking for signs then you should know, there’s power in the words that you’re thinking.” That’s an incredible line, hit me hard.

9 - “Ashley”

I both love and hate what this song means, because it scares the crap out of me. The way she described it as “a cautious goodbye” in an interview... It’s absolutely a letter to her fans, about Halsey, about who Halsey is, and who Ashley is, and how that balancing act both breaks her and makes her thrive. She can’t keep doing this forever. She knows how much she means to us, and this song is all about how heavy and scary that burden is, but that she’s committed to it, for now. Ending with that line from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was perfect. We’re the ones who shouldn’t assign her our peace of mind, y’know? Her vocals are stunning, though, and I think it’s the strongest opener from any of her albums. This song reminds me of a much less depressing version of “Batter Up” by Brand New, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it influenced her a bit.

8 - “Graveyard”

This song really feels like the older sister of “Without Me”. I love the racing speed of the melody and the rhythm, the way everything is layered so manically and frantically over the verses. It’s actually really easy to get lost in the musicality of this one, even though the lyrics are incredible. I think the music video is my all-time favorite of Halsey’s, because I love all the symbolism in it, and it was really trippy to see her without tattoos. I’ll consider this one a bop for a long, long time.

7 - “clementine”

We’ve had this song for a little while, and it’s been one of my favorites. I was pretty sure it was going to stay that way, even after the album came out, but Halsey surprised me. That being said, I still love the way this song manages to be both playful and petulant, spirited and sad. It has some really beautiful images, and the music video is so pretty.

6 - “I HATE EVERYBODY”

We love a song full of contradictions! This song takes the humor/self-deprecation that started in “Clementine” and “Forever... (is a long time)” and turns it anthemic. The transition from “Dominic’s Interlude” to this song is so perfect, it’s hard not to listen to them one after the other. Halsey once again proves her lyrical prowess and ability to write a relatable bop, which is really what we love her for in the end, right? I love the way the song starts out pretty simply, than swells up into something epic.

5 - “3am”

I love this genre, so much, and I think Halsey completely nails it. This song wouldn’t make anyone bat an eye if you played it in 2007. Most other Halsey songs can’t claim that, and since I’m a sucker for the aughties, this one lives high on my list. It reminds me of P!nk, Avril Lavigne, and Paramore. The lyrics are super relatable, and I love the chorus and the bridge. It’s not the best lyrically, but that bridge honestly makes up for what the rest of the song lacks. Can’t wait to scream that one live! I do wish John Mayer wasn’t rambling on the end, but I also love how that leads into “Without Me”.

4 - “929″

This might sound strange, but I love how this song starts with just Ashley talking; she’s speaking through laughter, challenging her friend playfully. This song feels so real. I love the stream-of-consciousness style of lyrics and the way the melody plays into that. Her voice reminds me so much of early, early Halsey - songs like “Tilt You Back” and “For Ruby”. I can relate so much to some of the things she says, and I love the way it ends. It’s such an interesting contrast to the way her previous albums concluded, too - “Young God” and “Hopeless” are both such epic, sweeping tracks. Ending her most personal album yet with such a tender ode to self-acceptance, and self-discovery, is such a beautiful way to show how much she’s grown, as a person, a songwriter, and a singer. This song makes me nostalgic, proud, happy, just a little sad, and feel so at peace.

3 - “More”

I almost don’t really have words for this song. Knowing Halsey’s story, her very honest and public experiences with infertility and endometriosis, made this song hit me a lot harder than I ever expected. I still can’t quite get through it without crying. It’s an incredibly beautiful song. Painfully, painfully honest, about a topic that’s so rarely openly discussed in pop culture. I don’t even want kids, but the yearning she shows, the hope she still has, the way she says that she’s loved her future child more than anything, and has always loved them; the reference to having already bought baby clothes; the sound of the sonogram machine, and the way it sounds like she’s singing to her baby from outside the womb at the end; it guts me. And again, I don’t want kids. I never expected this kind of honesty or tenderness from her. It’s such a special song, truly. (For the record, I listened to it again to write this and am fully weeping once more.)

2 - “Forever... (is a long time)”

What a surprise this song was! I think it perfectly captures a certain kind of self-destructive behavior that so many of us end up falling into when it comes to relationships. The way the song goes from happy and plucky to this burgeoning feeling of dread, of spiraling down into those dark thoughts that trip all of us up from time to time. It goes from a love song to a break-up song in a matter of seconds, and the transition is spine-tinglingly perfect. The storm building in the background, starting with thunder and dissipating into rain. The way her voice comes back in with the same melody, but minor instead of major. The way the song sort of disintegrates into chaos, and into the realization: “talk to your man...tell him he’s got bad news comin’.” (This is definitely about the Yungblud breakup, right? Nevermind, my heart can’t take that. Gonna pretend I didn’t just realize that.)

1 - “killing boys”

Jennifer’s Body is one of my absolute favorite movies, unironically. I love that Halsey loves it too, enough to include lines from it in the most badass boss bitch song she’s written since “Nightmare”. Her vocals are incredible (those high notes!) - the lyrics are the perfect blend of regretful and rageful - the beat, melodies, and overall composition just fills me up with this impossibly strong sense of “fuck yeah, fuck you.” I don’t have the words to describe how this song makes me feel. I had high hopes, based on the title, and it did not disappoint. This song has some of the cleverest lines on the entire record, and it makes me feel a way that no other song does. That’s what seals it at #1, for me (for now.)

Feel free to reply with yours, or tag me in your own review!! I’m really excited to see some of the more detailed opinions people have, now that the initial “IT’S HERE” hype has started to subside.

stream MANIC by HALSEY today

#manic #manic review #manic era #halsey #ashley frangipane #stephspeaks #ok to reblog #changed some formatting

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kachulein · 5 years ago

Note

It's just Felix's voice is on another lvl and everytime his part comes in a song it's like "I knew it was gonna happen but I still feel attacked thank you" and ya I'd love to get some help in knowing who they are like, I recognize them most of the time but a guide to who's who wouldnt hurt mostly abt their personalities you know?

Oof I feel you so much with this. In the new album 아니 (Any) is my favourite song and I especially like Felix's part. His voice isn't as deep there but god, the tone of his voice is just so pretty?? It had me hooked from the start.🥺

And I'm really sorry for only answering this ask now, granted, I have to admit I felt very grumpy after tumblr deleted the whole guide I was working on but I finally finished the new, and definitely better/more organized one, so I hope this will be of help and that you'll enjoy reading through it~

A Guide to Stray Kids' Personalities

I'll put this under a cut as it got extremely long. :3

Bang Chan:

Chan is literally the biggest sweetheart and I keep referring to him as 'emotional support kpop boy'

he is so kind and caring - I mean he even hosts a weekly vlive broadcast to help stays fall asleep, he really cares about us/our problems and truly wants to help us feel better with his music and his words

truly does not have one bad bone in his body- he's super sweet and caring but when it comes down to business -music- he gets strict, maybe a little cold? but that's just because he wants everyone to do their best

he used to be (too) strict with Felix in the past but that was because he had a special bond with him/he liked him so much, so I assume he's the type of person who wants to see his loved ones succeed and do their best and so he might end up being a little too strict to them since he wants them to improve

he used to get more angry at the members when something didn't work out in the past but nowadays, he rarely loses his temper and he tries to stay away from them when he's really angry - he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings

he actually really likes acting cute!! he used to be the youngest member at jype and he used to hang out with older peers, so he got a habit of acting cute and giving hugs to others and now he does it to the members, haha so precious

he gets super shy and flustered when he's being complimented - he starts giggling and looking down, it's literally the most precious and he deserves to know how amazing he is because he truly is so humble

his humble self is what makes him a great leader as well since he's never greedy or selfish and always puts the members before himself - the members are his top priority and he definitely sacrifices some things for the team

but he also said he can't talk about himself well or he gets nervous when he's got a schedule by himself (like when he recorded his dance cover of 2pm's my house), so he really seems like someone who gains strength and confidence from having his team around him

he's very selfless and very supportive and encouraging but he can also be very funny and teasing

he's very genuine, sincere and nice and he's got an extremely strong sense of responsibility (vvv good trait for a leader ofc), he may seem a bit scary at first/in the past but the more you learn about him the more amazing you will find him and the more you will fall in love with him tbh

in general he's honestly top notch boyfriend material and also just a very wholesome and high quality human being

he also likes to lead and set the mood, he enjoys entertaining others and making them feel satisfied - he hopes that everyone can be happy, he wants to make people happy and then he will be happy, too

and ofc we can't forget how talented he is, music production/composition, making arrangements, writing lyrics, translating lyrics, speaking multiple languages, beautiful singing voice, amazing dancer (he's actually done ballet in the past), and also a great rapper

like tbh, what can't he do??? but believe me when I say, we're going to be asking ourselves this question quite a few times in this post

Minho:

Minho is the definition of a tsundere personality - even the members said so - at first glance you may notice that he can be quite savage and funny and maybe there's even a chance that he seems cold to some-

however, he's truly a sweet person and has a very warm heart and he selflessly cares about others without trying to make a big deal out of it - like, he'd never boast about helping others or doing someone a favour, he's the type to quietly take care of others

he doesn't like admitting to it but he truly cares a lot despite acting nonchalant most of the time - like one time Changbin asked him to get him something,,, and he shrugged it off as "nah dude, I'm not getting this for you" but he kept searching for it for 30 minutes when he couldn't find it - so that really shows it all (Changbin that dork asked Hyunjin to get it for him and then when Minho finally came back and said he couldn't find it, Changbin was like "oh shit sorry, I already asked Hyunjin to bring it to me." 🤦🏻‍♀️ #justiceforminho)

anyway, I don't want people to view him as just a pretty face who's an amazing dancer and a savage guy because he's soooooo much more than that, like there's a lot more to him below the surface -

DID YOU KNOW HE MAKES THREADED BRACELETS IN HIS FREE TIME??? THAT'S THE ABSOLUTE SOFTEST THING EVER BUT ALSO WHAT CAN'T HE DO??? SO MUCH TALENT IN ONE PERSON- (he wore one in his recent solo live and he said he made 7 in total and gave some to others, I wonder if some of the other members got one since I saw Hyunjin wearing a bracelet like that-)

he's a cat person which I love but he also resembles a cat so much?? a true kitty boy- he's very independent and self-reliant, he used to live by himself (I read that once), so he knows how to get around

he also enjoys things such as the smell of gasoline/gas stations or the smell of new buildings or even the smell of cat paws??? it's really odd but also really funny and his reason for it is that smells leave behind memories and I think that makes so much sense then-

he cares a lot about the wellbeing of animals and people and he even sponsors a child in Africa through UNICEF - my heart melted when I found out about that, he also can be seen wearing safety pins on multiple occasions and that just makes me feel like you'd be very safe with him

he can be a bit of an enigma though, even the members think he's "weird"/hard to understand as even they don't fully get him but I think that's his charm! he's not like everybody and he doesn't shy away from being himself

also, he never makes the younger members do stuff for him, on the dance team(s?) he was on predebut, he always used to be one of the youngest members so he said he never learned how to treat people younger than him (he's also an only child), so he's just comfortable with the younger skz members and I feel like they really appreciate it since it makes them feel as if they're all the same age

he also reads a lot and he's said that he reads many self-help books so that he can gain knowledge and help stays out there/convey the message of these books to them

with Minho it's really about the little things, he doesn't make grand gestures and that's why I think some people may overlook his kind and caring nature but if you really look closely, you can see it and it'll warm your heart

He's also very diligent and hardworking, albeit he seems to be someone who gets bored here and there ("I work out to kill time") he really has his goals and ambitions and he works hard for them.

His dancing is freaking amazing (@ jype pls he is a main dancer why is he rarely in center spot????) and his vocals and rapping have improved tremendously! He's got such a beautiful and angelic falsetto tbh you will fall in love with it-

So all in all, you can totally appreciate him for his wit and his savage comments but honestly, his kind and caring heart is what really made him my bias wrecker. I truly believe that he's a very caring and protective person and I find that so beautiful.

Changbin:

Changbinnie oh god, I have so much love for him and I can relate to him a lot. First of all, he always makes sure to be a good listener, so others tend to go to him with their concerns and he tries to take everything in that they say and then give them comfort

he cares a lot about other people's feelings and he puts a lot of importance on his relationships with other people - he wants others to feel comfortable around him and he is very thankful that the younger members also feel comfortable around him

he's a very honest person and doesn't pretend or fake anything, however, if his truth/his feelings would hurt someone else's feelings, he's not going to be honest. That doesn't mean that he's going to lie but he just cares a lot about not hurting other's feelings.

he said even if someone else's feelings are just a little bit hurt, it drives him crazy and he also said that he might be like that since he's sensitive and gets hurts by others easily (this is all so relatable😭)

anyway, Changbin is known for liking to joke around and also is one of the member who get teased by the others a lot, but fear not, he said that he actually enjoys when others tease him because that means they're comfortable with him and that makes him happy

how precious is that omg-

he makes jokes a lot but he is serious when he needs to be, he tends to be more fun around others/with others but is more serious when he's on his own, that's why he actually prefers to be around friends since it helps him forget about his own concerns

I guess he'd be an overthinker and to stop himself from overthinking he spends time playing around with the other members but in a way, I also feel a bit worried since he doesn't open up a lot and I hope he doesn't bottle up his feelings too much since I know how difficult that can be :c

on another note, Changbin is very focused on his health, he apparently works out every morning even when he's tired, he also cares about healthy nutrition and he takes supplements so that he can be healthier

apart from wanting others to feel comfortable around him, he also wants to be seen as a reliable person and it feels good to him when he can help someone/give them comfort

he's truly such a sweetheart and despite seeming so confident, I always feel like he might harbour a lot of insecurities underneath - but that's just my personal opinion, so take that with a grain of salt

the members also said he's the scariest when he gets mad but the sweet thing is that he always apologises to everyone after getting mad

even if he didn't get mad at everyone, he still apologises to them all, and it just shows what a good heart he's got-

and pls can we also talk about how talented he is as a producer, composer, lyricist, main rapper, and vocalist?? His voice is so beautiful and I hope he gets more confident in it and tbh he's also a really good dancer, so I hope he can get praised for his dancing more often as well (before he became a rapper he actually tried out dancing first)

so in conclusion WHAT CAN'T HE DO AND CHANGBIN BEST BOI GIVE HIM LOTS OF LOVE

Hyunjin:

"sexy boy" Hyunjinnie here is actually so much more than just a pretty face with great body proportions and amazing and sexy dance moves/skills

Hyunjin is the biggest soft boy, he's truly a sentimentalist - he gets hurt easily, Seungmin compared him to a snowflake that breaks when it touches the ground

he first thought of himself as mentally strong since that's what helps him overcome all the difficulties but later on (in that video) he felt like he was more mentally weak

he cares a lot about other people's opinion of him and it's really hard for him to ignore hate comments, he gets really sensitive about those (pls for the love of god, what a**holes are sending this precious angel hate?!?!?!?! I WANNA FITE (ง'̀-'́)ง)

with that being said, he's a very emotional boy, he tries to control his emotions or hold them in but he gets influenced by them quite often

he's also very honest with his feelings, so when he expresses them and when he breaks down, they all just burst out of him and he ends up spilling everything he's held in for a while

he doesn't really express his emotions skillfully (don't @ me, Changbin said that) so that can make you feel a bit sorry for him or it can make you feel like you want to take care of him because he's so innocent, naive and trusts easily

like really, he is, he almost got abducted by a cult once- SOMEONE PROTECT HIM PLS-

he also gets immersed in things very easily and boi do I feel him on this one; especially when he watches dramas, he gets so immersed and feels like he's living through the drama as if it happened to himself, he puts himself in the shoes of the male/female main character and the storyline just affects him so much that he often ends up crying (same same😭)

it also happens when he reads webtoons or so, he's also a huge fan of reading - ever since an acquaintance recommended him some books when he was going through a hard time and those books comforted him in a way that words never could - that was the start of his interest in reading

from the outside, we also know him as a bit of a drama queen which actually makes for so many hilarious moments - this impulsive/emotional side of him is just so authentic and he said that there's no side of him that he hasn't shown to stays

he can also be quite critical tbh and he's got his own standards for his likes and dislikes, so when something doesn't meet his standards he breaks down akdksksoals but when there's something he doesn't want to do or thinks doesn't serve him, he's got no problem cutting it off

despite that, he can actually get swayed by other people quite easily (hence, him being trusting and naive), when others make suggestions, he often agrees to them but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have his own opinions whatsoever, because he does have those as well

it's just easy to sway/persuade him, even when it comes to things like shopping - he rarely goes shopping tbh, despite dressing so well - but when he does, then he'll go get the things he finds pretty but when someone points something out and says "that's pretty" he'll buy it (so in conclusion, I really wanna go shopping with him now)

so yeah, Hyunjin is amazing and he's so compassionate and emotional and empathetic and I love him so much wtf and he's so hardworking and talented and his dancing is so amazing and his rapping has become so damn good, like his voice is loud and stable like good job baby🥺, I'm so proud of you🥺, and his singing voice is so soft and lovely, and he's also great at taking pictures- and aaaah seriously what can't he do??? he is a full package imo and you cannot escape his charms even if you try-

Jisung:

okay so Jisungie is seriously such a precious and shy bean and you don't really see this at first glance because he's so sociable, outgoing and cheerful when he's with the members

but that's the thing: he's close to them and they make him feel comfortable and confident, so he feels at ease and can show a more talkative side of himself - he's even the one who usually leads the conversation

he's extremely funny, has a lot of wit, is great at doing acrostic poems and in general, he's just such a creative person with many amazing ideas - some may call him a genius😌

but coming back to that shy side of his; he's actually a very introverted person; he doesn't like to leave the house and and hates moving in general - Jisung in bed is Jisung in his natural habitat tbh

on days off he prefers to stay indoors, lay in bed, and just watch youtube videos or tv shows or something - he doesn't like to go out or do outdoor activities and his eyes are always glued to the phone (relatable)

even when he's eating with the members he's having his earbuds in and watches something on his phone and then he gets really creative and uses all kinds of things to mount his phone (again, so relatable hhhh)

his routine is something like watching youtube videos/cartoons etc., falling asleep, waking up, spacing out and then repeating the whole process-

he sleeps really well and he can actually fall asleep in the weirdest places, it really shows how he can fall asleep everywhere but maybe he also seeks special hideouts to nap because he doesn't like being woken up and if the members can't see/find him, they also can't wake him... you get it hahaha~

Chan thought that maybe Jisung watches all these things on his phone as a way to escape reality and to relieve stress but Jisung also said that he gets a lot of inspiration from cartoons and videos to write lyrics - due to watching all these videos he actually harbours a lot of random trivia knowledge, which fits the genius description~

however, despite this outgoing side when he's with his close friends, he actually gets scared easily, may it be heights or dark places or meeting new people - protect him omg - especially with strangers he's extremely shy -> the introvert showing

he actually doesn't talk at all when he has to meet new people, he gets very nervous and awkward and scared - when they're at music shows and there's a lot of people around, he gets very nervous - he said he's never been good at making friends and he only keeps a few close friends

when he gets close to people, however, he becomes extremely talkative with no limit, he's also very affectionate and warm-hearted, his sentimental, soft and dreamy side really coming through

so basically, he's very cheerful on the outside but thoughtful on the inside - he's actually very mature despite the goofy and silly/playful side he usually shows us -> Changbin once said that Jisung feels like an older brother to him because of how mature he is, he really is a deep thinker and I guess that's also a reason why he's so amazing at writing songs

Jisung also got something we're all envious of; he can eat lots of unhealthy things without gaining weight - he loves sweet things (but also chips) and he frequently eats late night snacks and luckily for him, his face rarely puffs up despite those late night snacks, there's only been a few occasions during which that happened (and I think I got a picture of one of these instances hahahaha he really looks different with a puffy face, so cute!!!🥺😂)

he's also just such an adorable person and it's so soft and cute and fun to watch him get excited and he absolutely loves to receive praise and he's just such a baby boy tbh :(( jisung protection squad where ya at?? and well, of course, we can't end this without talking about his endless list of talents like WHAT CAN'T THIS MAN DO??? producing songs, composing, writing lyrics, amazing rapping, amazing vocals, amazing dancing, drawing, voice imitations - he's seriously one of the most talented all-rounder out there and god I love him so much and you seriously can't escape his squirrel/quokka charms🥺

Felix:

if you need a definition or a personification of the word pure, it would be Felix, like seriously, this boy is so soft and precious we need to protect him at all costs

he's literally so nice, so sweet, so kind and so creative - he's often referred to as the "romanticist" in stray kids and yeah that really fits because you know what? he once surprised Seungmin for his birthday in the cutest way. He called him on his birthday and asked him for help (as an excuse) and when Seungmin came down, Felix was there with a birthday cake with Seungmin's nickname on it - he basically organized this little surprise and Seungmin tried so hard not to cry🥺🥺🥺

Felix is so considerate and cares a lot about the other members, he's usually more of a quiet person but when he feels comfortable around someone, he can get really talkative

but him not talking doesn't mean there's nothing going on inside of him - he's literally got so many thoughts running around in his mind and he's truly an overthinker - he talks to himself in his mind a lot

he also loves playing games and he can seriously go on playing until 6am, the members said that he is very good at concentrating (for example when he studies Korean) but especially also when he's playing games

Felix said that playing games is something that helps him relieve stress or it's what he does when he's tired - playing games is a distraction for him, so he can avoid thinking of whatever's troubling him

however, recently he wants to focus more on his concerns and worries, he thinks it's not something he should avoid, so now he tries to focus on these worries and talk about them/express them more since he thinks it's important to do so

something that's really cute about him but also worrisome is that he gets sleepy easily, especially after eating, so whenever they got dance practice, he tends not to eat in order to avoid getting sleepy :(

protect him pls and pls lixie don't avoid eating~ especially when having dance practice you need your energy and it's not good to have an empty stomach and fill it with coffee and sweet beverages instead of food :(

anyway, Felix is winsome and cute and an absolute cuddle buddy, he says he doesn't really know what it means to act cute but I suppose he's just naturally cute and adorable- I MEAN C'MON-

whenever Felix talks about serious matters, it's like he needs some sort of comfort afterwards so he requires a lot of cuddles (but the members said that after a while it gets too hot (I guess because of his body heat??) so it can be hard for them to cuddle him for long periods of time :'))

Felix is also known as our sunshine, he always wants to give a positive and happy impression to others/us stays even when he might be dealing with negative thoughts, it's too precious but I hope he also takes care of himself

but trying to be optimistic and think positively instead of letting the negative thoughts consume you is already a good start and I feel like Chan also helped him a lot with this, Chanlix best soulmates ever

Felix has high expectations (it seems) and he always wants to do better and do well, he's working hard on improving himself and it really shows!!

his singing voice improved so much (as well as his rapping!! and I mean H I S V O I C E in general oof😭🥺) and his dancing is freaking amazing!! I hope he can become confident in himself because he deserves to be happy with the person he is since he's such a huge inspiration to so many of us!! SERIOUSLY WHAT CAN'T HE DO?? he shows us that we can achieve anything with practice and hard work and that's so inspiring PLS EVERYONE LOVE OUR FELIX SUNSHINE

Seungmin:

I think the first words that come to mind when thinking of Seungmin is how diligent and clean/organized he is. He was one of the only (if not THE only) trainee who never missed a day of writing his trainee logs

he's not just diligent but extremely hardworking overall and he describes himself as serious and a bit funny - he's got very strong willpower tbh

he may also be known for teasing the members, especially Jeongin, or for nagging when someone (looking at you, Jisung) leaves behind a mess at the dorm but he is truly a sweetheart and he doesn't mean any harm

and in turn, he's also one of the members who gets teased the most- when that happens he becomes upset but he recovers very quickly as he often thinks it's not worth getting mad over

like honestly, he is a puppy, he can't do no harm :< but yeah, Seungmin is actually extremely soft, emotional, empathetic and supportive!! I've been keeping an eye on him recently and whenever something happens to a member (on a variety show - for example when one member shows off something and embarrasses himself or so), he's always there to give them a hug, comforting them

he also always tries to cheer other members up when they feel down, then he may act silly or he does/say something that's supportive because he truly cares about the members and doesn't like seeing them in pain

he's also someone who cries very easily, showing how he's truly an emotional baby but don't be phased, he's actually very emotionally strong and it's something very admirable about him

he has God sent vocals, his dancing is amazing and omg have you heard rapper!Seungmin?? Tbh I dig it!! He strictly takes care of his voice since his vocals and recording songs is very important to him - he dresses warmly when it's cold, always wears a mask and tries not to get sick

he's also very good at taking photos and he always brings his camera to official schedules and takes photos of the members. SEUNGMIN BEST STRAY KIDS FANSITE!!!!!

if you ever hear a weird noise, especially something sounding like "GAAAH" or "DA", it's probably Seungmin. He's truly a puppy, he's so cute and adorable, I feel like he's the type of person you can't get mad at

he also manages himself well, from getting up early, to cooking food for himself if there's none, to taking care of his body and health - it's really admirable and he also practices his singing so diligently and it just s h o w s- he's so good

also, he actually wanted to become a baseball player when he was a kid and we're still waiting for him to show us how he plays-

but also!!! he is a very smart and logical person (he wanted to be a prosecutor if he wasn't in stray kids) so he's got both the logical and also the very loving, empathetic side since he's also very considerate of the members - he seems to be a really good listener to them, this is just a personal observation from watching two kids room episodes- and he's actually the only member who thinks before he speaks- THANK YOU SEUNGMING I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE DON'T JUST BLURT EVERYTHING OUT-

so really ???? WHAT CAN'T HE DO HE IS A FULL PACKAGE- and fun fact, he brushes his teeth around 6 times a day-

but anyway, Seungmin is the type of person who appreciates the small things in life and finds happiness through those. I really like that attitude and he's truly someone worth looking up to. Our multitalented dandy boy- you can only love him~

Jeongin:

Jeongin here may be the youngest - and granted he is absolutely cute and adorable no matter what he does - but he's actually also a very mature person and I feel like that can be overlooked since he's the youngest of the team

while it can be hard for him to share his struggles as there's no one else his age in skz, he's also generally a person who doesn't want to burden others with his hardships so he keeps a lot of stuff to himself (so relatable)

but recently his mom talked to him about him not sharing his feelings and he's trying to open up more and share a bit, when the other members ask him if it's been hard, he often bursts into tears - god, protect him pls

even though he doesn't talk or show that much there's these moments - one time he was eating with Hyunjin and just broke down in tears since it's been hard for him - I suppose he bottles stuff up and then it comes out all of a sudden

however, his mature side is still there and the members, especially Hyunjin or Chan really enjoy sharing their feelings with him

Jeongin is a really great listener, he doesn't try to give solutions, he just listens to the other person and then shares his own experiences - it's what makes him seem mature

though he also has a bit of a mature and even cold look, so usually the first impression he gives off is different from his actual self and he said he enjoys seeing how people get surprised when they get closer to him and learn about his true self

he's also extremely clumsy and causes trouble often - from breaking doors, to accidentally hurting members, to spilling stuff, he's a clumsy boi

and he's also really forgetful, he tends to forget when he orders something online and gets surprised when it suddenly arrives or he forgets where he put his belongings (like his airpods jajdjskdks) and then he just buys new ones and then loses them again after a few months- aish that boi-

but these things are also what makes him even more lovable, like yes, he definitely has a mature side about him but you just want to protect and take care of him when you see him, amiright???

the members also said (or more like Hyunjin said) that he doesn't know anyone who's kinder and nicer than Jeongin

and on top of that, he's also a very hardworking member and his dancing and his vocals have improved soooooo much, and I'm so so so proud of him, like his voice is so beautiful

and he's been getting into working out recently, so now he's also trying to take good care of his body and wow, he's been doing a really good job even the members commented on how his back/shoulders are becoming broader

all in all, Jeongin is the cute and adorable maknae of Stray Kids but he's also so much more than just the youngest member and he's got so many things going for him and he always pushes through even when it's hard and never gives up

it's truly admirable like what can't he do right????? pls show our cute baby lots of love uwu

#the many hours i spent on this i'm so happy i got it done and i hope what i wrote made sense #i know the members ofc but i still did research on everyone first so that nothing i say in this guide is false #i hope you like it🥺#stray kids #ask #jenoscity💕#lovely mooties💖

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capricornus-rex · 5 years ago

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A Path I Can’t Follow (8)

Chapter 8: Cal’s Dark Deeds | Cal Kestis x Reader

Summary: It was a matter of life and death—the question is, should it be the life of many or one, the death of many or one? Cal Kestis makes what ought to be the biggest and hardest decision of his life as he is pitted with a question of high stakes and morals. He descends to the Dark Side and becomes an Inquisitor. A choice he openly made for the sake of saving you, even if you didn't know you needed it until it was too late.

TW: Depiction of violence and manslaughter - this is the only chapter that has it.

Tags: Dark Side! Cal Kestis, Inquisitor! Cal Kestis

Also posted in AO3

Chapters: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 | Previous: Chapter 7 | Next: Chapter 9 | Masterlist

8 of ?

You gravitate to the Holocron resting on its pedestal. The nearer you got, the louder the voices became—overlapping at one another, battling for your attention. Only some of their words were distinct, they were calling for your name followed by another word that you could not yet comprehend.

Your hand slowly reaches for the artifact; the light around it was so blinding that you had to squint your eyes as you try to grab it.

When your fingers have finally closed around the glowing cyan cube, a heavy, warping sensation cloaks you from head to toe—it’s as if you were being sucked into the black vacuum of space—images flashed before your eyes, an indescribable feeling lingered within your very core, and then suddenly, everything from the voices to the cries was reduced to a single, faceless, unseen entity.

[y/n]…

It called to you. The sound of the voice was warm and familiar, you could’ve sworn your heart skipped a beat when you heard it say your name.

You dared to utter a name. A word you haven’t used in a long time.

“Master?”

[y/n], remember your training.

You spun around where you stood, searching the entire chamber for the source of the voice—nothing.

Heed me well: do not let fear and inhibition trample on what you believe in. Trust only in the Force.

“Master, wait!”

Then the chamber was entirely silent. That rhapsody of feelings, sounds, and images have vanished out of existence. The viscous, bioluminescent substance tracing the etches across the walls and floor have lost their bright glow, albeit they remained; even the light of the holocron’s pedestal dimmed out when its precious treasure have been taken out of its place.

You examine the cyan cube framed with gold, amazed that the metal has never tarnished after being sealed away in this tomb.

“Cal…!” you gasped, not realizing how long you’ve been inside this chamber. To you, it felt like only a few moments have passed.

You tucked the holocron in your backpack and hurried out of the chamber. The door rumbled as it opened.

“Cal, I got…!” your smile melted away. “It…?”

Much to your surprise, the foyer was as empty as it was when you entered it. You surveyed the entire foyer, you crossed the gap again until you were on stable ground. You looked at the doorways that lead to the passages, the platforms that he may have climbed up, and even the exit.

No, he couldn’t have left me on purpose!

“Cal?” you called again.

Attempting to radio call him proved to be futile. There was no answer on his end.

“No, it can’t be…” you muttered to yourself, thinking about scouring the first levels and the other passages that he may have gone to—which, not much later, you did but the result remained the same.

In your haste, you climbed the vines that covered the wall at the lobby ruins where Cal and the Fourth Brother battled yesterday. You sprinted back to the foyer, as it childish as you thought it would be, you had hoped that he will reappear in that spot where you left him. Your faith in Cal’s ability to take down that many Stormtrooper was faltering.

He’s strong. He’s not that easily taken down. You thought to yourself as you head for the exit.

The growing paranoia in you had heightened your senses, making you hypervigilant. While being aware of the possible presence of Stormtroopers and Purge Troopers hiding amongst the rocks on the clifftops, you sprinted along the path where the Varans were tethered.

Again, you had hoped that Cal would be there sitting on his own Varan waiting for you. The result was the same as the temple.

He was nowhere to be found.

The pair of Varans were behaving wildly. They were rearing, standing on their hind legs as they loudly croaked and clicked; you tried your best to calm both of them down, holding them by the reins and gently tugging them until their muzzles were close enough for you to pet.

“Where is he?” you say under your breath, you had wish the creatures could speak. “Something doesn’t feel right.”

The creatures chirped in agreement. You connected the reins of the two reptilian steeds before riding your own Varan.

“I hope I’m wrong,” you sighed.

You kicked the side of the creature’s belly with your stirrup and the Varan went darting through the plains on the way back to the village. Your heartbeat pounded loudly, its rhythm almost synchronized with the Varans’ galloping; as you rode, you could not shake the thoughts that were forming in your mind. The only consolation being that they are only imaginings that took form at the expense of your paranoia.

Unfortunately, Cal had already beat you to the village. A cloud of sand signaled the arrival of a convoy consisting of a shuttle and a pair of small transport ships, the village was already on high alert as the triad of black ships landed right outside the town border.

Razh and a company of perhaps all of the men in the town, from the adolescent boys brave enough to come with up to the able-bodied elders who could still swing a staff, were armed to the teeth—possibly ten times more than when you and Cal first arrived—the small army marched to the entrance of their town, ready to greet the intruders. The women, children, and elderly have retreated to their homes—locking their doors, shutting and barring the windows until the background behind this small band of protectors fell silent, and only the wind disturbing the dust spoke.

There was a medley of anxiety and eagerness amongst the men as they anticipate for the ship’s door to open and reveal their unexpected visitors.

“You better be prepared,” the Grand Inquisitor cooed, standing in front of the door with Cal by his side.

“I am.” Cal simply yet firmly replied.

The shuttle’s door hissed as it retracted into its frame. The two stepped out of the ship, the transport ships’ had already dispatched a handful of Stormtroopers each—there are more inside, obediently and patiently waiting for the command.

Cal appeared—alongside the Grand Inquisitor—Razh recognized him immediately when he walked closer. The Grand Inquisitor, imposing as he always is, terrified the men but Razh tried to calm them down, repeating the words “Steady, men” until the vocal shudders were silenced. He could not believe what he’s seeing. This ought to be the heaviest shock of his life so far, and he was already hoping for the worst.

“Cal? What are you doing? Who are these people?!”

“What’s the meaning of this?!” an elderly man who made sure he stood out for his voice to be heard, pushed his way through the crowd.

Cal did not answer the bombardment of questions. The Grand Inquisitor leaned closer to Cal’s ear, his jaw slightly moved as he spoke, inaudible to Razh and the rest of his crew.

“Give the command, Cal,” uttered the Grand Inquisitor.

“What is he saying? Cal, what did he say?”

“I’m sorry, Razh,” Cal raised his arm, visible enough for the Stormtroopers rallied behind him and the Grand Inquisitor. The soldiers that were stiff as a pole at one second, became firm in their aiming stances in the next. “You were a gracious host… but now I will do what I must.”

At the simple flick of his two fingers, all of the Stormtroopers squeezed the triggers of their blasters; Razh and some his men managed to dodge the bullets but a large fraction of them had been gunned down. More of the Stormtroopers spilled out of the transport ships, they sprinted through the skirmish that was happening on the ground, and their targets were the residents shut inside their homes.

Nobody was spared.

A mother had been gunned down for protecting her children, a blast from the barrel of the Stormtrooper’s rifle found its mark on her forehead. The children were slain before her lifeless body could even fall flat on the ground—all it took was one shot for each.

One. Two. Three. Four.

An elderly couple, hiding in their bedroom and coddled up to one another in fear, did not put up much of a fight when a Flametrooper kicked down their door; when the old husband knew that pleading and begging will never save them, he embraced his frail wife closer and tighter until his lips could touch her forehead.

Her trembling sob was the final thing he heard before the trooper pulled the trigger of his flamethrower.

The babies’ chances of survival were the slimmest. Even if they were kept hidden in their houses while their mothers dared to fight back and were slaughtered in the process, a single blast startled them horribly and they began to bawl, their cover ultimately blown and discovered by the raiding Scout Troopers.

While carnage ensued in each and every home, the skirmish continued; the men hindering the Stormtroopers from coming close to their doorstep, desperately attempting to protect their families.

“Why are you doing this?! WHAT HAVE WE EVER DONE TO YOU?! I GAVE YOU SHELTER, I SHARED MY TABLE WITH YOU, MY WIFE NURSED [Y/N] TO HEALTH… AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY US?!?!” Razh roared in rage, stuck in a spiraling confusion where he could not process that this was his reality now.

“You will never understand, Razh. Never.” Cal uttered, devoid of remorse as the cries of death spilled out of every window and door in the town.

“Please, Cal…” Razh’s voice warbled, and he ended up speaking in sobs. “Leave Miera and my son… my sweet Yenzo… leave them out of this!”

Cal’s eyes drooped, giving Razh a false hope of mercy as the pensive expression was painted all over the young Jedi’s face. He smacked his lips to give his verdict.

“I think I can,” Razh’s eyes lit up as soon as he heard Cal’s answer, but the Jedi’s eyes glanced over the leader’s shoulder. He gestured a nod in the direction he was looking at to Razh. “But I don’t think they will.”

Razh quickly turned around to his back, his eyes widens in fear as he finds a trio of Scout Troopers armed with electrostaffs, spearheaded by a commander, barging into his shouts. Miera’s shouts of struggle sent Razh into a panic.

“MIERA!! NO!!”

A Stormtrooper held Miera violently by the hair while she never let go of their son, Yenzo—who was nearly breathless from all his terrified crying.

Now, Razh was at a standstill. Should he attack Cal? Or go to his wife and son?

Razh tightened his grip around his weapon’s hilt, preparing for retaliation. He comes charging towards Cal with his staff held high over his head, Cal had anticipated this. Their weapons collided, his staff pressing against the beam of his lightsaber. The young Jedi’s face was a blank slate, except for the ominous glower in his pale jade eyes; he looks again over Razh’s shoulder and nods again, he looked behind him—and the next moment will truly be the most devastating in all of the town leader’s life.

Without hesitation, the other Stormtroopers jabbed Miera and baby Yenzo with their staffs until the high voltage forcefully sent coursing through their bodies had rendered them lifeless. The light in Miera’s eyes was extinguished as she stared at her husband, until the speck of life that clung finally died with her. The swaddled infant, cold and lifeless like his mother, rolled away from her arms as they fell to the dust.

“NOOOO!!!!” Tears pooled and rolled down Razh’s cheek as he roared, heartbroken and ultimately destroyed upon witnessing the slaughter of his family.

The grip on his weapon was failing, but there was still a fire in him that allowed him to fight with all his might. A typical act of wrath, the Grand Inquisitor thinks. Cal brandished his lightsaber and deflected Razh’s weapon. Cal fought dirty, kicking Razh hard on the shin before being killing him.

Along the way, you suddenly felt a stabbing feeling in your chest. The vein in your neck throbbed as the dust in the wind pricked your cheeks. The negative thoughts came back to you instantaneously, itching to devour your sanity.

You remember the words of your late master that echoed in the chamber. Following her advice, you fought off the thoughts while you tried to keep your grip firm on the reins; constantly hoping that Cal is unharmed, that he will be waiting for you, and that every bad thing in your mind is just a hyperbolic figment of your imagination.

“COME ON!!!” you bellowed at your Varan, wildly snapping at the reins, prompting it to go faster.

When the silhouette of the town was becoming more and more visible, relief grew in your heart, but as you got closer, smoke wafted out of the skyline and the smell had alerted the animals. Your eyes furrowed in curiosity, heeling the Varans to a slower pace but they were jerking their heads from side to side as you approached the town.

After passing through the town’s arch, you were met with what could be the most inhumane scene that you’ve ever laid eyes on. You can feel your stomach sinking to your feet. The burnt awnings and canopies explain the smoke that you saw from a distance. Shards of clay pots and wood scattered across the sand. Bodies were strewn all over the streets.

“Oh… Oh no…” you were at a loss for words that perhaps all you could do was faint.

You dismounted the Varan and untied the connected reins, allowing the animals to investigate the scene with you.

Everywhere you looked, there was the touch of death.

You peered over the doors that had apparently been broken down, only to find the interior in a complete disarray—as if a great windstorm had gotten inside their house. The stench of charred flesh drew you to a house whose door was hanging open.

“Hello? Is… anybody there?” you called as you step into the abode.

You treaded carefully along the common space of the house, the odor got stronger every step—the scent had led you to a room with a door left ajar, you pushed the door open and immediately wished that you never did that, you gasped in horror at the discovery the charred bodies of the elderly couple who fell victim to a Flametrooper.

Your knees were noodles, bringing you down to the floor, your stomach sinking to the bottom of your feet—you couldn’t keep your eyes off the body even if you so desperately wanted to.

Now, you were frantic to find any survivors and the call of the Varans may have helped you with that.

You struggled to regain your bearings and then ran out of the house to find the creatures—they repeated their hollering, waiting for you to come quickly. You find them nuzzling their snouts against a bunch of bodies—one of which still appeared to be half-alive.

“Razh…?” you whispered.

You went closer and confirmed that it was indeed Razh. He ceaselessly wept in a haunting and sorrowful howl while he lies next to the corpses of his wife and child. The trail of blood that led to him implied that he worm-crawled all the way from the spot where he had stood to where Miera and Yenzo lay dead when they were executed.

He viciously shook away your hand from his shoulder. You caught a glimpse of Yenzo’s face; it was pink and soft when you last saw him, now the baby’s skin had purpled, riddled with reddened veins trailing all over his cheeks, stuck in a permanent expression of a wakeless slumber.

Razh refused to be touched by anyone—not even you—but you understood that he was in a state of shock and trauma. You tenderly spoke to him, calming him down.

“Razh, it’s me, I won’t hurt you,” you consoled.

“My love, my baby…!” he bawled, completely incapable to utter other words besides those.

“What happened here?” you said, as you continued to survey the land.

“Cal…” the mention of his name sounded like a warbled grunt.

You leaned closer to hear better.

“I’m sorry… I couldn’t understand that. Who did this?”

“It was Cal!” he shouted, then his voice returned to a whimper, ignoring you and gazing back at his wife while caressing her cold, hard cheek as if still hoping that she would wake along with their baby.

You couldn’t believe what Razh said. You demanded an explanation, but you knew that you wouldn’t get much from a grieving man lying next to his dead family, expecting nothing but for death to come to him as well.

“No… it can’t be… He wouldn’t!” you shuddered in disbelief. You slumped to the ground, sitting close enough to see baby Yenzo. The sight of the dead child brought you to tears and gave in to your grief.

It was the least you could do, you wept with Razh and offered to help him bury Miera and Yenzo, along with the other townsfolk—he politely declined, shaking his head and saying it’s useless for he will die very soon, he is just waiting for it. He requested you to leave him alone to grieve. Out of respect, you obliged.

Having not much to do, you decided to look for clues, your Varan followed you along in the investigation.

Not much later, you heard a familiar beeping amongst the earthenware sitting outside one of the huts. Your head jerked up, frantically searching for the sound—it was perhaps your only hope.

“BD…?” You breathed.

A pair of lens and an antenna peeked out behind the pots. BD-1 showed himself out of his hiding place when he saw you and excitedly scampered towards you.

“BD-1!!!” You exclaimed, beckoning him to your arms which he happily leapt on. “Aw, am I so glad to see you! Where’s Cal?”

BD-1 chirped a series of trills and notes, his panicked tone wasn’t a good sign. He told everything single thing to you—right from the beginning where the Grand Inquisitor arrived at the ambush back in the temple up until this moment in the town.

The little droid finally gave what you were looking for: Cal’s location.

“Cere, are you there?” you call over in your radio.

“I’m here. What’s happened?”

“I’ll explain in the ship,”

You cut off the communication and brought BD-1 to your shoulder for him to perch on, you hastily mounted your Varan and then snapped its reins—sending you out of the town and into the wasteland, back to where the Mantis was waiting for you.

You weren’t sure how you’re going to lay it on the crew. As a matter of fact, you still weren’t sure what had happened.

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nobody-knose--archive · 4 years ago

Text

so guess who bought complete demos today on a whim

yeah i wasn’t expecting this one to be over as quickly as it was either. have your liveblog

-complete demos. i bought it today & already forgot the tracklist. listening to it on the mp3 player i got for hmcrmshcidshdamsth because why not. makes pausing/typing easier that's why

-who the heck just coughed

-good lord the mixing is. and boy that's steve drumming isn't it. wow

-i mean we've got the stereo panning just like ever but this is incredibly rough. they are true babies aren't they

-oh those flutes are amazing what the hell. can people stop yelling in my individual ears

-and there's the rough megaphone. it's so incredibly clear that these aren't studio recordings but like. still tally hall!

-i think i'm finding many of these a little too funny but gotdam you're pitchbending your own voice do you really expect that to not sound so goofy at such a high pitch

-oh we're not slowing down at all, this is the same tempo as before for sure

-the flipping around audio channels is very not good at all when it comes to disguising the cuts between takes

-a sculptor you say? (is that one in the later versions? i don't remember it at all)

-nothing but rob's voices in the background and maybe 1 or two from red. no ross bits whatsoever. that's wild

-quick move into the greener intro and even quicker movement into greener itself

-well those are extra harmonies. interesting that they removed them for later versions because they're not bad, maybe a little out of place though

-honestly the biggest difference in steve vs ross drumming seems to be more a difference in the quality of the drums themselves. or the recording software but that applies to everything in this album

-it's painfully obvious that everything was recorded in really different circumstances & not mixed professionally and yep. complete demos alright. not inaccurately named in the slightest

-reminds me of the beta versions of g&e songs we heard live before they appeared on the album, makes me wonder if we could've gotten an admittedly complete demos for g&e somehow

-anyway these little different synths-

-hello there rob. alternate bridge. i have remembered this is a thing. something about tissues? a shoulder to cry on? cool

-yeah the little different synths do capture my attention from time to time

-and a basic piano for the outro? huh. sure gives it a different tone alright

-hm? who's that right at the end there- ooh! wtth time! and this still has steve in it doesn't it?

-generally more enthusiasm when it comes to that T, wonder what lost him attention in later years

-boy is that beatboxing weirdly mixed.

-lawn

-well this chorus is actually rather snazzy. the vocals seem better mixed than anything else i've heard in this album

-"who's to blame?" that's like the 4th time now i've heard someone's random voice that i can't recognize. ...it couldn't be steve, could it? i am now aware i have absolutely no clue what his voice sounds like but that seems like it could fit. hm

-zubin sounds really unenthusiastic here. just faintly unenthusiastic all over the place. still sounds more like "badiggle" than anything else

-oh shit they're falling down a well

-red's bit is hella unchanged other than the direct invasion of my individual ears & extra megaphone useage (i really wish the megaphone became more of a tally icon than it did but that's neither here nor there)

-it's rather more barebones though. less andrew keys in general. the calliope-reminiscent synth he uses is different i suppose.

-they did more stuff with funny crowd voices i think i've noticed. playing around with falsetto, as a college band dude might do

-ok yeah steve is a worse drummer. don't ask me what made me change my mind but i did

-wow a crowd that can consistently clap on the 1-2-3-4? how utterly unrealistic

-no wonky wild & weird intro to taken for a ride because i don't think it's on this album. understandable, i can't imagine what sort of wild hell the vocoder would be if it was attempted this early in its lifespan

-1st 2 piano chords of just apathy has me thinking of i know your name (deporitaz ver.) which is certainly as good a start to a song as any

-extended piano intro has me thinking of the ending of mold en mono but nope here's rob's voice to completely knock that impression out of the water

-ohoho? rob cantor swearing momence? i hadn't realized there'd be this many lyric changes

-interestingly enough this track doesn't seem horrendously mixed so far- nevermind that guitar/piano together is way too loud

-the guitar itself does have a pretty cool unique sound. obviously they hadn't had any access to string instruments at this point so given that those're the main thing separating this song from your average sade rock ballad there aren't a whole lot of notable differences here other than said guitar

-very different tone to this lil bridge. faintly reminiscent of weezer but it's not like i know anything about weezer

-sounds like the same synth from wtth being used in the bg there. what, did they have just that limited a selection so as to need repetition that frequently, or did they really like how it sounds? hard to tell with 200 (uhhhh) 4 college band dudes

-and right into two wuv. yes i had heard there's no haiku in this one but i forget what else will be missing. not sure if anything else will other than hidden in the sand. they would have ruler of everything, right? and a track that appears here but not any other albums? something like that i think

-more of that piano in the bg and more of mildly unenthusiastic zubin singing. different melody for said singing but it's not much of a secret that these guys were more untrained vocalists at this time

- .subsides?

-this chorus sounds significantly more laid-back than the later version

-the extra piano part sure moves this piece way further away from "rock love song" & way closer to "andrew horowitz song", especially that lil flourish where a bee buzzing might otherwise be

-ooh! andrew! he speaks! so does zubin! this song's two olsen boys coming in for a weird bridge bit! hell yeah oh this is adorable

-"because there's 2 of them :}"

-hm. are they actually just removing various parts because they don't have the technological capabilities to do a straight fadeout here? got dam

-i suppose letting zubin do a final solo-ish cadence works too

-uh- say it ain't so‽ w. no this is stationary love, the song that appeared here & nowhere else. cool, cool. strange but cool i guess

-i guess that can explain the multitude of weezer comparisons made for these lads. it's certainly there. honestly andrew was the only thing keeping them from being true weezer successors

-pure acoustic guitar thus far. this is my first time hearing this song of course & it seems like a pretty typical rob "homophonic heterophobic" cantor song

-nothing but acoustic guitar. nothing but rob vocals. nothing but alloromanticism. guess what! it's not my cup of tea! however i can't help but think if this song was worked on more, fixed up a la either mmmm release, with some more andrew/red touches, i could enjoy it some more

-not even any drumming. the simplicity could easily explain why it wasn't played live very often at all

-so the next thing i expect is some very funky & very weird spring and a storm which should highlight steve's (worse) drumming more than anything else i'm sure

-nevermind banana man's just getting slapped directly in here out of order compared to the later mmmm releases. this version i have indeed heard before because it's the version used in the music video

-therefore i have very little to say about it i haven't said on any of the other banana men. or other tracks on this album. the intrusions of vocal harmonies seem jarring because they're not mixed professionally, an effect that's only enhanced by the stereo panning & intense reverb

-this song really didn't change all that much over its lifespan, did it? vocal flairs were redone, but relatively few harmonies were added/removed, i don't think things like the bridge(s) were modified severely. not as noticeably as any of the other songs, at the very least

-i'm pretty sure i can hear andrew's voice in there but beyond that this is severely unsettling

-back to the chorus wahoo. relievingly familiar territory

-get out of my left ear hawaiian guitar- wait a minute are my earbuds on wrong

-no i'm good

-oh holy shit i forgot this had to be somewhere didn't it‽ i know it's just the same! ok ok

-i've heard this one but only because i had no idea it was from complete demos, it's like rather polished too so i had never considered it would be on an unpolished album like this. i also had no idea that was goddam steve drumming in there too hot damn

-and this is the only recording of it‽ that's wild i always thought it was redone at some point & just kinda. manifested in one of the vague ways miscellaneous high quality tally hall songs do

-it's another romance one but the guitar arpeggios and extra layers give it a pass in my book. man i should watch the music video for it shouldn't i

-i still think it's utterly wild how tally hall played this at an actual high school's homecoming once. wouldn't that just blow your mind

-there's not a major difference between how it's performed here & what i've heard of it in from the occasional live performance, which is making me realize i should watch more live performances of this song

-angstier prequel to hidden in the sand

-or sidequel maybe. depends really. we can tell whatever stories we like

-did my hidden in the sand sotry come out of the queue yet? i feel like i queued it a while ago but also like y'all would've said something if you'd seen it

-bit slow paced innit. much like everything else in this album, it would have gained much from a professional studio treatment, but its mixing & general quality is still surely the best out of everything i've heard so far

-working your falsetto there aren't you my dude? ooh boy

-ruler of everything.... so no spring & a storm? >{

-yeah. ok. weird glockenspiel. almost sounds like a music box

-no vocoding either! i just realized that's a thing here! curious. and... those are some heavily wonky sfx in the background

-who's singing those aaaaas anyway? it's not a chorus which i thought could surely be handled and there's really minimal reverb too; strange considering not only is reverb a jh trademark but easily doable here

-the piano synth used is mostly identical to the 05 mmmm- oh holy shit there's different lyrics & they're being beamed directly into my skull

-even more nonsensical & it's because you can hear them hella easily too. that backwards segment did not need to go on as long as it did. also

-so no zubin vocals? >{

-slapping 5 billion vocal effects on doesn't make up for a lack of the best singer in this damn band

-especially because he sounds reminiscent of goddam fred. being fred before fred was even a thing. oh how accursed

-quiet down your guitars when you're singing shouting through a megaphone if you please

-and there's the earstrain-ass reverb + vocoding on the flibbity jibber jabber reprise. i feared as much would happen. doesn't sound horrible i just need to turn down the volume on my mp3 player

-honestly thing whole thing isn't bad at all in the sense that it's mostly just strongly different from the later versions & lacks zubin

-lease stop yelling though my dude schwiggling your voice like that isn't always a good thing at high volumes

-is that the end? are we.... at the end? i heard that's the name of some song from like sketches or something

-no. how silly of me to assume as much. anyway my dude needs to fix up his ukulele this one sounds like shit

-no vocal effects makes me realize how few times we got this one live-

-now what would you call a wonky little transition like that? puts a smile on my face, even if it does take me by surprise at the same time

-but at least one of the times this was done live featured casey shea

-now for the love of god i already hate the ending of something glowing (view-monster) for its weird-ass asmr finale don't reverse someone's cough & twiddle your ukulele strings directly into my right ear to end an otherwise really nice version of hidden in the sand if you please. oh mama mia. good night

#tally hall #loolin liveblogs #joe is mentioned sometimes but not by name fyi #tis i #as usual it's recommended that you listen to the album in question as you read to get a better idea of the context #because 9 times out of 10 i won't tell you it #i feel like i come off as slightly negative for much of this. what can i say complete demos is an album of amateur demos #the songs aren't as good as their later counterparts by nature & that's all i ever have to say #to the world and back again

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fuckheadwitha · 5 years ago

Text

Listening to Rolling Stone's Top 500 Albums of All Time

Rolling Stone released an updated list of their top 500 albums of all time and being trapped in the purgatory of covid quarantine this seems like the perfect moment to tackle what an almost completely irrelevant former counter-culture institution has to say about music (we can’t actually blame Rolling Stone for this list, a huge number of musicians and critics voted to make it). I am going to listen to every single one of these, all the way through, with a level of attention that's not super intense but I'm definitely not having them on in the background as simple aural wallpaper. Two caveats though: I can make an executive decision to skip any album if I feel the experience is sufficiently miserable, and I'm also going to be skipping the compilation albums that I feel aren't really worth slots (best ofs, etc.). In addition, I will be ordering them as I go, creating a top 500 of the top 500 (it will be less than 500 since we've already established I'm skipping some of these).

Here are 500-490:

#500 Arcade Fire - Funeral

I can already tell I'm going to be at odds with this list if one of the most important albums of my high school years is at the bottom. That being said, I haven't actually given this whole thing a listen since probably the early 2010s, before Arcade Fire fatigue set in and the hipsterati appointed band of a generation just kinda seemed to fade from popular consciousness. I actually dreaded re-experiencing it, since the synthesis of anthemic rock and quirky folk instrumentation which Arcade Fire brought mainstream has now become the common shorthand of insufferable spotify friendly folk pop. Blessedly, the first half of the album easily holds up, largely propelled by dirty fast rhythm guitar, orchestration that's tuneful rather than obnoxious, and lyrics which come off as earnest rather than pretentious. The middle gets a little sappy and “Crown of Love”, a song I definitely used to like, really starts the grate. And then we get to “Wake Up”, whose cultural saturation spawned thousands of dorky indie rock outfits that confused layered strings and horns with power and meaning. This song definitely hasn't survived the film trailers and commercials which it so ubiquitously overlayed, but the line about "a million little gods causing rainstorms, turning every good thing to rust" still attacks the part of my brain capable of sincere emotion. This album is probably going to hold the top spot for a while, because although so many elements of Funeral that made it feel so meaningful, that made it stand out so much in 2004, have been seamlessly assimilated into an intellectually and emotionally bankrupt indie pop industrial complex, the album itself still has a genuine vulnerability and bangers that still manage to rip.

#499

Rufus, Chaka Khan - Ask Rufus

Before she became a name in her own right, Chaka Khan was the voice of the band Rufus, and it’s definitely her voice that shines amongst some spritely vibey funk. That’s not to say that these aren’t some jams on their own. “At Midnight” is a banging opener with a sprint to the finish, and although the explicitly named but kinda boring “Slow Screw Against the Wall” feels weak, this wasn’t really supposed to be an album of barn burners. This was something people put on their vinyl record players while they chilled on vinyl furniture after a night of doing cocaine. “Everlasting Love” is a bop with a bassline like a Sega Genesis game, and the twinkling piano on “Hollywood” adds a playful levity to lyrics that are supposed to be both tackily optimistic about making it big out in LA and subtly realistic about the kind of nightmare world showbiz can be. “Better Days” is another track that manages to be a bittersweet jam with a catchy sour saxophone and playful synths under Chaka Khan’s vamping. This album definitely belongs on a ‘chill funk to study and relax to’ playlist.

#498

Suicide - Suicide

We’ve hit the first album that could be rightly called a progenitor for multiple genres that followed it. Someone could say there’s a self-serving element of this being on a Rolling Stone list (the band was one of the first to adopt the label ‘Punk’ after seeing it in a Lester Bangs article) but the album’s legacy is basically indisputable. EBM, industrial, punk, post-punk, new wave, new whatever all have a genealogy that connects to Suicide, and it’s easy to hear the band in everything that followed. But what the band actually is is two guys, one with an electric organ and one with a spooky voice, doing spooky simple riffs and saying spooky simple things. Simplicity is definitely not a dis here. The opener “Ghost Rider” makes a banger out of four notes and one instrument, and the refrain ‘America America is killing its youth’ is really all the lyrical complexity you need to fucking get it. “Cheree” and “Girl” have almost identical lyrics (‘oh baby’ vs ‘oh girl’) but “Cheree” is more like a fairy tale and “Girl” is more like a sonic handjob. “Frankie Teardrop” has the audacity to tell a ten minute story with its lyrics, but of course there is intermittent, actually way too loud screaming breaking up the narrative of a guy who loses everything then kills his family and himself. The song is basically a novelty, and I think you can probably say the whole album is a novelty between its brevity and character. But for a bite sized snack this album casts a huge shadow.

#497

Various Artists - The Indestructible Beat of Soweto

The fact that this particular compilation always ends up in the canon has a lot to do with the cultural context it existed in, being America’s first encounter with South African contemporary music during the decline of apartheid (it wouldn’t end until a decade later in 1994 with the country’s first multi-racial elections). Music journos often bring up the fact Ladysmith Black Mambazo, the all male choir singing on the album ender “Nansi Imali”, sang on Paul Simon’s Graceland like their virtue is they helped Paul Simon get over his depression and not, like, the actual music. But also like, how is the actual music? Jams. Ubiquitous, hooky guitars propel the songs along with bright choruses over low lead vocals, but I didn’t expect the synthesizer on the bop “Qhude Manikiniki”, nor the discordant hoedown violin on “Sobabamba”. “Holotelani” is a groove to walk into the sunset to.

#496

Shakira - Donde Estan los Ladrones

So this is the first head scratcher on the list. It’s not like it sucks. And I think I prefer this 90s guitar pop driven spanish language Shakira to modern superstar Shakira. But I mean, it’s an album of late nineties latin pop minivan music, with a thick syrupy middle that doesn’t do anything for me. The opener and closer stand out though. ‘Ciega, Sordomuda’, one of the biggest pop songs of the 90s (it was #1 on the charts of literally every country in Latin America), has a galloping acoustic guitar and horn hits with Shakira’s vocals at their most percussive.

#495

Boyz II Men - II

So, if you were alive in the 90s you know Boyz II Men were fucking huge, and the worst song on the album is the second track “All Around the World”, basically a love song to their own success, and also the women they’ve banged. You can tell it was written specifically so that the crowd could go fucking wild when they heard their state/city/country mentioned in the song, and I’m not gonna double check but I’m sure they hit all fifty states. Once you’re over that hump though you basically have an hour of songs to fuck to. “U Know” keeps it catchy with propulsive midi guitar and synth horns, “Jezzebel” starts with a skit and ends with a richly layered jazz tune about falling in love on a train, and “On Bended Knee” has a Ragnarok Online type beat. Honestly this album can drag, but you’re not supposed to be listening to it alone in a state of analysis, you’re supposed to have it on during a date that’s going really, really well.

#494

The Ronettes - Presenting the Fabulous Ronettes

A singles compilation of the Ronettes, the only ones I immediately recognized were ‘Be My Baby’ and ‘Going to the Chapel of Love’, the latter of which I didn’t know existed since the version of the song I knew was by the Dixie Cups, which was apparently a source of drama since the Ronettes did it first but producer Phil Spector refused to release it. I feel like as a retro trip to sixties girl groups it’s full of enough songs about breaking up (for example “Breaking Up”) getting back together (for example “Breaking Up”) and wanting to get married but you can’t, because you’re a teenager (“So Young”).

#493

Marvin Gaye - Here, My Dear

This album only exists because Marvin was required by his divorce settlement to make it and provide all of the royalties to his ex-wife and motown executive Anna Gordy Gaye. It’s absolutely bizarre, phoned in mid tempo funk whose lyrics range from the passive aggressive (“This is what you wanted right?”) to the petulant (“Why do I have to pay attorney’s fees?”). There is a seething realness here that crosses well past the border of uncomfortable. I don’t think it’s an amazing album to listen to, but it’s an amazing album to exist: Marvin Gaye is legally obligated to throw his own divorce pity party, and everyone's invited.

#492

Bonnie Raitt - Nick of Time

I have never heard of Bonnie Raitt before but apparently this album won several grammys including album of the year in 1989 and sold 5 million copies, which I guess goes to show that no award provides less long term relevance than the grammys. The story around the album is pretty heartwarming, it was her first massive hit after a career of whiffs, and Bonnie Raitt herself is apparently a social activist and neat human being. I say all this because this sort of 80s country blues rock doesn't really connect with me, but the artist obviously deserves more than that. I unequivocally like the title track though, a hand-clap backed winding electric piano groove about literally finding love before your eggs dry up.

#491

Harry Styles - Fine Line

I do not think I have ever heard a one direction song because I am an adult who only listens to public radio. I’m totally open to pop bands or boy bands or boy band refugee solo artists, but I don’t like anything here. It’s like a mixtape of the worst pop trends of the decade, from glam rock that sounds like it belongs in a car commercial to folky bullshit that sounds like it belongs in a more family focused car commercial. This gets my first DNP (Does Not Place).

#490

Linda Ronstadt - Heart Like a Wheel

Another soft-rock blues and country album which just doesn’t land with me. But the opener “You’re No Good” is like a soul/country hybrid which still goes hard and the title track hits with the lyrics “And it's only love and it's only love / That can wreck a human being and turn him inside out”.

Current Ranking, which is weirdly almost like an inverse of the rolling stones list so far;

#rolling stone #500 greatest albums of all time

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sailorshadzter · 6 years ago

Note

Prompt pls! Jonsa on top of the wall, aka “So there is magic beyond the Wall after all. He found himself thinking of his sisters, perhaps because he’d dreamed of them last night. Sansa would call this an enchantment, and tears would fill her eyes at the wonder of it”.

ahh thanks for the request! i hope you like it!

send me prompts

Last night, he had dreamed of Sansa.

He had dreamed of her long red hair, how soft it was, how easily it slipped between his fingers. He had dreamed of her eyes, eyes as blue as the the sky when the first dusting of stars began to shine each night. He had dreamed of her voice, just a whisper of silk in the darkness of his rooms that first night they spent together. Of course, he had woken yet again only to feel the stabbing pain that was the loss of her. Every morning he agonized over being away from her, from missing her with his entire being. No matter how he tried, he knew he would never untangle her from him, she was an imprint upon his heart. Not that he wanted to.

If nothing else, he had the thought of her. If nothing else, he knows that she lives safely in Winterfell, the crowned Queen in the North. If dreams and thoughts are all he has left of her, but she lives, then he must be happy. He must be happy that she's alive and she's well, even if they must live apart. He does not deserve to stand at her side, not after all he's done. And standing up here, he feels the closest to her. He knows she would have loved this cold, lonely place. She would have filled it with her warmth and her light, without even knowing she did it. And she would have thought it magical, standing there at the top of the world, snow all around her. She would stand in awe of the way the sun rose high into the sky, she would stand in amazement at just how far one could see from the very top...

"My lord?"

He turns at the sound of the timid voice, only to find that a young boy of maybe twelve stands before him. Jon doesn't recognize him, but he remembers then that four new recruits for the Night's Watch had arrived several days before, just a few weeks into his own return to the black. "I'm not a lord," Jon replies at once, instantly regretting his tone of voice when he sees the boy flinch. "What is it?" He pushes on, gentling his tone and offering the boy a wane smile, a peace offering for his previous rebuke.

"There was a rider at the gate, a visitor for you." The boy replies, his voice a little stronger now. His black cloak is at least a size too large for his small frame and Jon recalls his own first days at Castle Black, when he had been an angry, lost boy just barely older than this one. A visitor? He wonders to himself, taking a single step forwards, as if he means to head towards the stairs just behind where the boy stands. "They are coming up here," the boy goes on, surprising Jon even more than knowing a visitor has come to call. He can't begin to imagine who it would be until he shifts his gaze towards the stairs and sees for the first time the figure that is climbing them.

Though her cloaks hood is pulled up over her hair, Jon knows it's her. He would know her pace, her build, her, anywhere. Jon glances down at the boy then, who's face suddenly lights up with a grin and he tugs back his cloak to show off the direwolf that's pinned above his heart. Now, Jon begins to understand.

"Thank you, Cedric," Sansa's vocals are soft, almost lyrical and Jon swears he can feel his heart cease beating. The boy steps just to the side, enough so Sansa can come to stand where he once did, and gives a quick bow before he turns and heads back towards the stairs, leaving his queen alone with this man named Jon Snow. She's smiling as she tugs her hood back, revealing to him that red hair of hers, worn in loose braids just barely pinned together at the back of her head. "Hello, Jon." She greets, her smile widening, her cheeks two blooms of color.

He can't think, let alone speak.

Jon cannot believe that she stands there in front of him, he doesn't dare to believe it in truth. "S-Sansa..." His frozen lips speak the name that's always on his heart, on his mind, and at once he's falling to his knee before her. "My queen," he says with more feeling than he's felt in weeks. He hears her laugh a moment later and he raises his gaze up to meet hers a moment before she's sinking to the ground in front of him. It's with a slightly shaking hand that Jon reaches for her then, trailing his fingertips across her jaw, leaving fire in their wake. "I can't believe you're here," he finally whispers, thumb swiping across her bottom lip before he cups her face into his palm. "Why are you here?"

"I bid you to come home two months ago," she says sharply, though her sapphire eyes are soft and shining. "You dared to ignore a command from your queen, so your queen has come to you." She dissolves into giggles and at once, Jon feels something warm rushing through his entire being. "Come home Jon, please," she sobers then, her own hand reaching out to gently touch his cheek. "I can't be without you any longer."

When she looks at him this way, she's hard to deny. Almost. "I don't deserve to stand beside you." He says with a shake of his head, moving back to stand up. She rises up too, ignoring the hand he offers her, those once soft eyes now sharp and narrowed. "I am a war criminal."

"You are a hero," she spits back, venom in her tone. "You saved the entire realm from a tyrant queen, it is you that should sit upon the Iron Throne," she goes on, reaching for his hand to draw him back towards her when he tries to turn away. "But your brother has graciously taken it from you, because he knew it was not what you wanted." Their eyes meet and her gaze softens, though her tone is torn between frustration and love. "You helped me win back Winterfell, it is your home as much as it is mine. The North wants their King back."

Jon smiles, shaking his head. "They already have their queen."

Sansa tightens her grip on his hand a moment before she's speaking yet again. "And their queen wants her king." Jon blinks, understanding her meaning only a moment later. The breath catches in his throat, his heart skipping a beat as their eyes meet. "Please, Jon... Please, come home with me." For the first time, he can see the tears that gather on her lashes, a testament to the whirlwind of emotions rushing through her.

Standing there, staring into her tear-filled blue eyes, Jon knows he cannot deny her. Not now, not ever. She's all he's ever wanted and now she's come all this way to tell him that she wants him too. And though he knows he doesn't quite deserve her, he knows he would do anything to make her happy.

Even going back home.

And so he gives her one single nod before he pulls her into his arms, relishing in the feel of the warmth of her against him. He holds onto her there at the top of the wall, the snow beginning to fall all around them, the winter sun rising high into the sky above. When he draws back, her eyes are wet with tears, but her mouth is curving with the most radiant of smiles. “Say it,” she softly pleads and for once, Jon can smile a true smile.

“Take me home.”

#anon asks #jonsa #jonsa drabbles #send me prompts #jon x sansa #my writing #i wrote this

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gwentoryfics · 6 years ago

Text

Hot for Teacher, Part 4.

Genre | College Student x College Professor Smut AU

Pairing | Hongseok x Reader x Hyunggu (Kino)

Words | 9.8k

Summary | You never realized how much one drunken night could color the rest of your college experience until you discover that the handsome stranger from your cousin’s wedding is also the new professor at your university.

Warnings | Cursing. Masturbation. Underage drinking. Mentions of smoking. Sexist assholes. Poor choices.

Parts | 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 5.5 • 6 • More Coming Soon AO3 | 1 • 2

Playlist | Spotify • Youtube

Note | Yay! First update on my new blog! Thank you as always for following and supporting me, you all have no idea how much it means to me every time I get an ask or a message. I love you all dearly. 💕 Also, I don’t currently have a playlist put together for this part but I will add links above when the playlist is ready!

You make it to the music building in record time, smoothly flashing your student ID and dashing up the stairs to the office. A somewhat familiar face sits behind the reception desk, but you can’t quite place him. He’s got dark hair that rests on his forehead, a thin nose, and a friendly smile.

“Hello, how can I help you?” He greets you as you beeline for the desk. You recognize his voice as the one you heard over the phone.

“Hi, I think you just called me? I’m _____.” You throw on a grateful smile. “I asked for those excuse card copies.”

“Ah! Right.” He picks a few papers off of his desk and holds them out to you. “Here you go.”

“Thank you so much.” You eagerly take the papers, gushing. “You have no idea how much this is going to help me.”

He laughs quietly. “Why do you need them so badly, if you don’t mind me asking? Your note sounded pretty urgent.”

You remember scribbling a note to him that may or may not have been laced with a few choice words. “Oh, sorry about my language.”

“No worries.”

“I’ve just got a professor who’s trying to make an issue of the fact that I missed a bunch of convocations last year. You know how they get.” You try to keep your explanation as vague as possible to avoid incriminating Professor Yang or yourself. Avoiding eye contact, you casually flip through the photocopies, frowning a little as they remind you exactly why you had to go home so frequently.

“Understood. Convocations are kind of a big deal. I’m glad that those copies will help.” His smile turned into a bit of a frown. “I’m sorry it took so long. They weren’t particularly easy to get access to.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You wave your hand dismissively. Sure, it had taken a little over a week (and that had resulted in you being quietly grudge-y in the back of the Physics classroom yesterday morning), but you have all of your evidence right here in your hands now. “I really appreciate you digging them up for me.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” The boy nods at you once and when he turns to his computer, you suddenly recognize his profile.

“Oh my God! Jazz band!”

His brow furrows and he laughs awkwardly. “Um, what?”

You shake your head to get your thoughts straight. “Sorry, I just realized why you look familiar. You’re the jazz band pianist!”

“Oh! Yeah, that’s me.”

A huge smile creeps across your face. You have so much admiration for the man sitting in front of you now, and you feel like an idiot for acting, well, like an idiot. “You’re such an amazing jazz pianist. It just, you’re just so good! You guys killed it at the first convocation.”

“Thank you! That really means a lot.” He easily accepts your compliment, as if he were used to being gushed over. But he doesn’t seem to be a dick about it - he’s just confident.

You explain yourself: “I play piano, too. I want to make it into jazz band next year, so I’m working really hard this year.” Why did you need to tell him that? He probably doesn’t care what a lowly sophomore like yourself dreams about.

He keeps a smile and a good attitude about it. “Ah. You know, there’s going to be a lot of competition for that seat.”

“Trust me, I know.” You’re sure that you’re far from being the best jazz pianist in the music department, but you try to stay positive. You’re at least good enough to be in the running. So why couldn’t you be the one to get the seat?

And then the pianist makes you an offer you absolutely can’t refuse: “Would you be interested in sitting in on a jazz band rehearsal sometime? I can chat with the director. I’m sure she’d let you.”

A rush of adrenaline bursts through your veins. “Really? Oh my gosh, that would be amazing. I would absolutely love that.”

“Awesome.” He smiles sweetly. “Can I save the phone number from your note? So I can get in touch with you.”

“Yes, of course. Please.” You nod a little too fervidly.

“Cool.” He holds out his hand. “I’m Changgu. It’s nice to meet you, _____.”

You shake his hand. “It’s nice to meet you too, Changgu.”

You feel surprisingly light as you make your way down the hall to Professor Yang’s office, but only because you’re now backed with proof of your innocence in the matter. Not that any of it is really that important, anyway, but you just need him to know that it was not intentional.

Well, that and the fact that you may or may not get to attend a jazz band practice. With Changgu, of all people. He’s everything you want to be - in a music sense, at least. You don’t really know much else about him. But hey, maybe you’d have the chance to get to know him a bit.

As Professor Yang’s office comes into sight, your smile fades and your steps falter. The music softly floating through the closed door catches you off guard - the sound of funk guitars and raw vocals.

It’s not just any music he’s listening to.

“Tell me something good…”

You freeze.

“Tell me that you love me, yeah…”

He is listening to the song you sang to him in the hotel that night. The song you specifically chose to set the mood. The song that, as far as you are aware, he had no knowledge of before you played it for him.

You remember coyly dancing and singing, remember the lustful look in his eyes as his gaze traveled down your swaying body. You remember the heat of his lips and the clutch of his hands - and suddenly you’re neck-deep in filthy thoughts of him.

Even worse, you can’t help but wonder if he’s feeling all of those things right now, as he’s listening to the one song that truly tethers you together.

Leaning against the wall, you try to take a deep breath and calm yourself. Your mind is racing and your heart is beating way too fast. Should you even go in there? Maybe you should just come back some other time. What would he say if you walked in on him like this?

...and then you smile the most mischievous of smiles.

What would he say, exactly, if you caught him listening to a song that had to remind him of you? Mr. Not-At-All-Affected-By-You couldn’t act all high and mighty anymore, could he?

Now that is something you’d like to witness.

Professor Yang has to still be attracted to you, at the very least. You don’t necessarily want to encourage that emotion by bursting in and making him face his feelings, but it’s all part of proving your point - that this situation wasn’t a scheme of yours, and that you’re not the only one to blame.

Taking just a moment to compose yourself, you let your lips settle into a line and you knock calmly.

The music grows quiet and Professor Yang calls out, “Come in.”

Boy is it a struggle to keep your neutral expression as you open that damned door.

And it’s even harder to stay neutral when he very visibly reacts to the fact that it is you of all people entering the room.

His eyes widen for a moment as recognition flashes across his face, and then he immediately scrambles to turn off the music completely. But you both know it’s too late for him to pretend like he wasn’t just blasting your sex music, and the acoustic guitar in his lap tells you that he was possibly even playing along.

Smugly, you say, “Good song, huh?”

Professor Yang purses his lips, not amused. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, actually.” You approach him coolly, placing your excuse cards calmly on his desk. “I brought these for you.”

He picks one up and eyes it as you take a seat across from him. “And why do I need these?”

“Because, Professor, if you’ll remember, you blatantly accused me of intentionally getting us into this mess. So now I’m back to clear my name. Clearly I was not at any convocations last semester, so I didn’t even know you existed until I saw you at the wedding.”

Rolling his eyes, he stands and places his guitar back on its stand. “Congratulations, you’ve officially taken this way further than it needed to be taken.”

“Hongseok, I’m serious. I didn’t do this to you.”

He prickles, his fox eyes pinching shut. “It’s Professor Yang.”

“Professor Yang, sorry.” It’s an honest mistake, the way his name so naturally slips past your defenses, and you hope it doesn’t set you back on your mission to reach a neutral ground with him. “I just need you to believe me.”

He picks up the cards and sits on the edge of his desk as he examines them. “You really want me to go through and match all of these dates up with the convocation dates?”

You scoff. “Obviously you don’t have to do that. The cards all specifically say that I was missing a convocation, and you can see the department head’s signature on it and everything. See?” You stand, pointing over his shoulder at the scrawled signature. You suppose that it doesn’t really look like more than a squiggle, so it could be argued that you had done it yourself, but you’ll fight as many battles as you need to. You’re going to get him to acknowledge you.

Professor Yang’s thumb swipes over the page as he reads one, then another, and another, putting the pieces together and learning the unfortunate reason why you so frequently returned home. His voice is quiet, soft, when he finally asks, “How is your family?”

Your mouth dries up. “Better. My father is in remission now.”

All of the weekends you had to go home, you were going to see your father. His stage three lung cancer made it so that you could never be sure how long he would be around. Any of those visits could have been your last. By the grace of something holy, his treatments had been successful. Hopefully it would stay that way.

Professor Yang takes a slow breath, and you can feel empathy pouring from him. “I’m glad to hear it. And I’m sorry you and your family had to go through that. Cancer is awful.” He looks down at you, his gaze warm and sincere.

As you lock eyes, you suddenly realize how close he is. You feel the heat radiating off of him, smell the familiar cologne lingering on his collar - bergamot and cardamom. Your heart pulses with desire and your throat tightens, as if he were a living, breathing aphrodisiac.

If he feels anything similar, he doesn’t acknowledge it. Instead, he just takes a step away from you, returning to the safe space behind his desk. You also step back, bumping gently into your chair and absolutely hating the way he turns you into a bumbling mess.

Professor Yang is much more considerate with your excuse card copies now, tucking them carefully away in his desk drawer. He clears his throat once and takes a seat. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

You sit, too. Sure, he had acknowledged (sort of) that the excuse cards are real. But you need him to verbalize your innocence. “Do you believe me now?”

He dismisses your question and repeats himself, a little less gentle this time. “Is there anything else?”

“Yeah, an apology.” You really shouldn’t be surprised. Of course he wouldn’t give in easily. “I’ll even settle for you admitting that you believe me when I say I had no idea who you were when we met.”

Professor Yang rolls his eyes in a rather childish manner, but damn it if there isn’t something hot about his irritation. “Fine. I believe you. Is that all?”

You know you shouldn’t ask; you shouldn’t string those words into an audible question. But, naive little thing you are, you do. “Why were you listening to that song?”

“It’s a good song,” he calmly answers, still looking away from you. You can sense that there’s certainly more to it than that, but you do believe that he does genuinely like the song.

“It is,” you murmur. You should really stop and leave it at that, but you can’t stand to let the air between you grow quiet. So you press on. “And you’re learning to play it?”

“Yes.”

Stop. Leave it there.

“What do you usually play on guitar? I know you’re not really into funk that much.” Your mouth runs all on its own.

Professor Yang doesn’t verbally respond - he just stares at you with a warning deep in his eyes.

But you can’t stop. Your anxious blabbermouth has taken hold and is making you ramble. “You like rock, right? I think you told me that, you know, when we-”

“Stop. Please, just stop.” Professor Yang cuts you off, shutting you up more effectively than your own brain could. “Don’t try to talk to me about that night. I don’t want to have that conversation.”

You blush hard, embarrassed by the foolish route your mouth had taken you. “Okay, then let’s just talk about music. Who do you like?”

“I don’t want to talk about that, either. I don’t want to talk about anything with you, _____.” His gaze hardens. “I think it’s best that we don’t have any sort of relationship outside of the classroom.”

“Even small talk is off the table? It’s just a simple question.”

“Nothing is simple with you. If this were simple, you wouldn’t be here in the first place.”

“Answer the question and I’ll leave.” It’s a stupid bargain. It’s all so stupid. But at this point you feel like you have to make this conversation go somewhere, simply to save yourself from your embarrassment.

He purses his lips, considering whether he should give into you or not. Eventually he says, “Van Halen. Pink Floyd. The Rolling Stones. AC/DC.”

You nod stiffly, but you’re pleased that he responded at all. “Any Aerosmith?”

“Some of their early stuff.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “I think that’s enough questions.”

You keep blabbing, almost like you don’t really want to leave. “You know, I went through an Aerosmith phase when I was a kid. Found my dad’s records and thought it was the best thing in the world.”

“Can we please be done here? I would like for you to leave.”

As you stand from your seat, you can’t help but feel the urge to lift some of the tension with humor, embarrassing though it may be. In an awkward imitation of Steven Tyler, you sing some of the lyrics from one of the most well-known Aerosmith songs - and of course, you throw in just a touch of air guitar. “Sing for me, sing for the years / Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears…”

And then, it all pays off as Professor Yang very visibly struggles to hold back a smile. He shakes his head, trying to regain his composure, but his voice is light as he says, “Nope. Get out.”

You start backing towards the door, but you keep up your act and go all-out for the biggest part of the song. “Dream on! Dream on! Dream on!”

“Oh my God,” he laughs, unable to hold it in anymore. He stands, chasing you out. “Get out of here! Go!”

As you hurry out the door, you jump up two octaves so you’re practically squealing, “Dream on! Dream on!”

All you get in response is a loud NO as he closes the door on you, but you still giggle. It’s so relieving to see him not pissed at you for once.

You smile to yourself. Absolutely worth it.

“I’ve got a quick question for ya. Maybe two, depending on your answer to the first.” Nailah hands you another freshly-cleaned dish to dry before dunking her hands back into the sink.

She is a fabulous cook and always makes sure to make enough dinner for both of you - as long as you help with cleanup and grocery shopping. You’ve offered multiple times to handle the cleanup entirely on your own, since the current arrangement still isn’t fair. But Nailah always insists that she can’t let you do it all by yourself.

“Sure, what is it?” You towel dry the mixing bowl and tuck it into a cabinet just in time to grab a clean plate from her.

“Are you friends with any Music Comp students?”

“Yeah, I know a few.”

“Do any of them have an interest in film scoring?”

You realize why she’s asking. “You need some music for a film?”

“Mhm.” She hums, scrubbing roughly at the cutting board in her hand.

“What’s this one about?”

“Well it’s not exactly a whole film, it’s just a scene for my directing class. The overall story is about a young woman who’s struggling to deal with the trauma of her past, and how that’s affecting her self-image as a queer woman.” Nailah rinses the cutting board and hands it off to you, looking dramatically off into the distance as she explains the story. “In this scene, she’s torn. She wants - craves - physical intimacy with her love interest, but she’s riddled with the guilt and shame that’s been instilled in her since she was a child.”

“That sounds exactly like something you would make.” You smile and dry off her hands, now that she’s done washing.

“Well, I am me.”

Nailah has always been open about her queerness since you met her last year. The day that you moved in, she was completely honest with you about her preferences and assured you that she wouldn’t hit on you or make you uncomfortable - she must have assumed that you might be bigoted, seeing as how you’re from such a small town. But believe it or not, you’re actually a decent human being who doesn’t give two shits about whether or not your roommate is lesbian.

Honestly, the weirdest part about your living arrangement is the age difference between you. Normally freshmen wouldn’t be assigned a room with a sophomore, but that’s how it worked out. Regardless of your ages, the two of you immediately struck up a friendship; you couldn’t have asked for a better roommate.

She squeezes your hands as a thank-you and takes off towards her desk, releasing her braids from the bun atop her head. “You didn’t answer my question, by the way.”

Right! You think for only a second, and a name immediately comes to mind. “You remember my friend Shinhye, right? She came over once or twice last semester.”

Nailah nods, stashing some supplies into her backpack and preparing to head out for class. “She’s in comp?”

“Yeah, and she’s really good. I don’t know if she’s ever done film stuff before, but I can ask.”

She shakes her head curtly. “I’ll ask. It’s more professional that way. Can I get her number from you?”

“Of course.” You get your phone out to read off Shinhye’s number (does anyone memorize phone numbers anymore?), and Nailah saves the contact info.

“You’re the best.” She pulls on her bomber jacket and slips into her combat boots. No matter how casually she dresses, she always manages to look fashionable. You may or may not be a little jealous of her look from time to time.

“You’ve got that right.”

Nailah snorts, rolling her eyes. “I’ll see you later.”

“Have fun!” You call after her, and you hear the door close as she exits for her night class.

You take it upon yourself to tidy up the kitchen area a little more, wiping down the stove and limited counter space. The kitchen is pretty small (you were still technically in a dorm apartment, after all), but you are lucky to have an apartment-style dorm in the first place. It is the perfect little space for you and Nailah, and you love the view you got every evening at sunset.

As you finish your cleaning, you feel your phone buzz multiple times in your pocket - it’s a series of texts from your cousin, Minseo.

Minseo, 6:54pm: Jiyoo finally put the wedding photos up on social, check it out! Minseo, 6:54pm: Honestly we looked so good. Minseo, 6:55pm: And so did your groomsman ;D Minseo, 6:55pm: How’s that going btw??

You groan. The last thing you need is to see him in that tux again, to see him on the exact night you stripped each other naked and screwed each other senseless. It’s a terrible idea to look at those photos and relive the night all over again.

But… despite your better judgment, you pop open your laptop and resign yourself to the bittersweet memories.

There are multiple photos that you don’t even remember taking during the reception, including one of you with the bride, her luxurious bouquet in your hand. But as much as you want to linger and admire your makeup and dress, your heart wants something else.

Hongseok shines brighter than anyone in the wedding party photos, his gorgeous smile drawing your eyes right to him. He looks just as handsome as you remember, with those sharp eyes and plush lips. And damn that tux fits him just right.

Your mind is filled with memories of that night, and you can’t help but notice the low burn of desire deep within you. You desperately needed to feel that good again… and Nailah just left for class, so you have the room to yourself for a while...

You slip into your shared bedroom and close the door (just in case). Luxuriously, you lay yourself back onto your bed, fingers sliding up beneath your shirt to cup your breasts as you remember his touch.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you think that you really shouldn’t be enabling your lustful attraction by masturbating to the thought of him, but at the forefront of your mind you honestly don’t care. A little fantasy never hurt anybody.

All you can think about is the warm press of his lips and the sheer strength of him - and the way he made love to you like nobody ever has. He filled you perfectly, and you long to feel the stretch of his cock in you again.

Hastily, you kick off your jeans and shove your panties down your hips, pleased to find your folds already slick with arousal. Just the mere thought of him has you so worked up - you can hardly stand the pure want that you feel, like he is a drug you’re addicted to.

You let your hands and your mind wander, your fingers rediscovering every curve and fold of your body, your thoughts drifting into dangerous territory as you fantasized...

What would the look on his face be if you dared to wear a sheer shirt to class one day?

Or better yet, if you conveniently forgot to slip on a bra?

He’d be furious of course, because it’s simply not fair for you to be looking so deliciously sexy when you both know he can’t do anything about it.

Maybe he would do something about it.

And what would he do if you burst into his office with no panties under your dress, just like that night? Your arousal dripping down your legs, the scent of your sex filling the small room and driving him to madness.

Maybe he’d do something about it then, too.

You would never, never, do any of those things. You’re not that kind of girl; you don’t flirt with - or seduce - your teachers. The consequences are much too great.

But… what if?

This is the only time you let yourself really consider the outcomes of those fantasies, the only time you can truly indulge in the pleasure you get just from looking at him.

You’re absolutely overcome with need for him as your fingers dive into your slit, curling against your favorite spot. The only thing you want is to feel his rough fingers instead of your own, to wrap your mouth around the girth of his cock and hear him fucking moan.

You whimper softly as your fingers ravage your hole, your thoughts geared solely on the mental image of him shirtless and glowing with sweat. You want to lick each drop off of him, want to bite his gorgeously soft lips, want to ride him so good that he can’t help but fill you with his cum.

It’s so easy to remember the way his hair fell in his face as he pounded into you, the intensity with which his eyes pierced yours with each thrust. God, he is the sexiest man to ever exist and the memory of screwing him pushes you over the edge.

Frighteningly fast, you reach your climax. Your chest tightens and warms as you explode with pleasure, wetness spurting forcefully past your fingers. For a moment, you imagine that it might be his hot, sticky cum dripping out of you, his seed coating your walls and making you feel beautifully filthy.

As your orgasm plays out, you lay there in ecstasy - but it’s bittersweet. Melancholic, even. Because you know you’ll never be able to experience it for real ever again.

And then the fog lifts.

The ecstasy fades, and you realize that you were just fantasizing about having unprotected sex with your teacher.

Not only had you fantasized about it, but you actually squirted as you thought about him.

...and damn, was it hot to think about him completely raw inside of you.

You’re not that kind of girl.

And you really shouldn’t let yourself get carried away like that. Because if you know anything about yourself, it’s that if you allow yourself to consider something even a little bit, you may actually end up acting on it. That’s exactly how you got into this mess in the first place.

So this is the last time you’ll let yourself consider it.

After you take a moment to calm down and make peace with your decision, you roll up your dirty sheets and take a quick shower. Once you’ve taken your sheets downstairs to the laundry room, you call Shinhye, looking for a distraction.

“Yello?” Shinhye answers almost right away.

“Hey. What are you up to this weekend?”

“Procrastinating, probably. Why, you got something planned?”

“We should find a party. I feel like I want to get slammed.”

Shinhye doesn’t respond immediately. “Is Nailah coming?”

“I haven’t said anything to her. Why?”

“She seems cool. You should bring her.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” You chuckle, remembering that Nailah called her earlier. “So start scouring campus for parties and let’s get wasted.”

“Hey, short stuff.”

You look up from your notes as Wooseok enters the practice room, only a few minutes late to your tutoring session. He was late last week, too. But you’re not the type to hold it against him, though, so you just shoot him a smile. “Hey.”

His hair is parted off to the side today, and it really suits him. He shrugs off his jean jacket and pulls up a seat across from you. “Those flashcards we worked on last week have been super helpful. But honestly, I’m still pretty slow at identifying the pitches.”

“That’s okay. It takes time.” You reassure him. “You’ll get it.”

After meeting with him for the first tutoring session last week, you discovered that he’s a surprisingly good pupil. He picks up on the concepts quickly, but the real issue is that he has trouble with retention. Hence, the flashcard and memorization exercises.

You spend the next forty minutes or so going over his theory homework and reviewing chord structures. Wooseok does well, but you can tell when he hits a wall and has to stop. The two of you call it quits and start packing up.

“Have you thought at all about how you’d like me to repay my debt to you?” He teases as he zips up his backpack. The smirk on his lips is so casual. What a natural flirt he is.

You ignore the suggestive look he’s giving you - you’re positive he’s just joking around. But he’s right, he does owe you since you’ve been helping him. You haven’t given it much thought, though. “I haven’t come up with anything yet, but I’ll let you know when I do.”

“Whatever you want,” Wooseok shoots a wink your way, and you laugh.

“Stop that! It’s not going to be like that, so calm yourself.”

He chuckles and pulls on his jean jacket, picking up his backpack and returning his chair to its original place in the room. “Suit yourself, little lady.”

Little lady? Short stuff? Where are all of these nicknames coming from? “You know I’m not actually that small. You’re just a giant.”

“I’m not actually that tall, you’re just bitty.” Wooseok playfully mocks you.

“Wow, I never thought of that,” you respond, sarcasm dripping from your words.

“And she’s got sass, too!” With an easy smile, he leans back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest as he waits for you. You respond childishly by sticking your tongue out at him, which earns you a bout of his bright laughter.

Once you’ve got your things together, you both head out. You don’t have too far to go, though, since your piano lesson is in about fifteen minutes. Wooseok walks down the hall with you.

“Any plans this weekend?” He asks, making small talk.

“Nothing set yet. You?”

“Just the usual, I guess. My roommate and I are throwing a party tomorrow night, so I’m guessing we’ll spend the rest of the weekend recovering.”

“You’re having a party?” His plans immediately catch your attention - and you knew exactly how to get your friends and yourself invited. “Okay, I think I know what I want as repayment.”

“Yeah?”

“My friends and I are looking for a party, so you should let us come over.” You shoot him your most charming smile.

“Totally. I’ll text you the details.” He splits off in the direction of the stairs. “But you don’t have to waste your repayment on that. You’re invited for free. So think of something better.” With that, he disappears down the steps.

Something better? You don’t know what that’ll be, but for now you’re just pleased that you found a party. You’ll settle his debt later.

After you and Kino get out of Aural Skills II on Friday morning (you will forever hold a grudge for the class, since it’s basically the only one in the whole school that meets on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday), the two of you book a practice room to work on R&B Ensemble music. When you get to his solo, you notice that he likes to pace while he sings it.

“Do you think you’ll do some choreography for this song?” You ask him. “I mean, you are a dancer.”

He stretches his arms across his body one at a time and rolls his neck. “You know, I actually started choreographing some movements to the song just to see what I might want to do. Wanna see what I have so far?”

“Sure!” You answer excitedly. “I’ve never seen you dance before.”

“True, I guess you haven’t.”

“Do you want me to play for you?”

“Nah, I’ll pull it up on my phone so you can watch.” He picks his phone out of his pocket, and laughs to himself as he navigates to the music. “Although I have no doubt that you could play and watch me at the same time.”

“Maybe once I have the song memorized,” you chuckle.

Kino sets his phone on his music stand as it starts to play his Bruno song, and he dives right in. The movements are simple enough that he can effortlessly sing along, but they’re so precise that he really, truly looks like a professional. His footwork is sharp, and the way he pops his hips is very reminiscent of Bruno himself - but with a little Kino twist.

After the chorus, he stops and faces you with a shy smile. “That’s all I’ve got right now.”

“Kino, that was so cool!” You gushed, clapping elatedly. “You have to do that for the showcase. It’s perfect for the song.”

“Thank you! I’m glad you like it.” He beams, a little more confident now that you’ve boosted his ego. “Do you want to see more? That’s not the style of dance I usually do.”

“Absolutely.” You don’t even hesitate to answer. You’re so curious to see what else he has in store.

He chooses a different song to play - “Shape of You” by Ed Sheeran. Almost immediately, you’re entranced by the way he dances. He’s really good, and the level of control over his movements is just insane.

It’s also kind of crazy to you how willing and comfortable he is to just drop everything and dance for you. The only time you feel comfortable dancing like that is after you’ve had a couple drinks. It’s really admirable.

He finishes his dance, and you start clapping for him again. “Did you choreograph that too?”

“Sort of. I just kind of made it up on the spot.”

“That’s absolutely insane. I had no idea how good you were!” You laugh. “I could never dance like that.”

“Sure you can.” Another song plays, and Kino gestures for you to get up. “Come on, I’ll show you a little something.”

He walks you through some cool footwork, and he’s so encouraging that you actually don’t feel awkward at all to be dancing in front of him. Even though you can tell that the movement doesn’t sit in your body as well as it does in his.

The next song to come on has a distinctly Latin vibe, and Kino reaches his hand out to you. “Alright, come on. You have to dance with me for this one.”

“But I don’t know how to dance to this music!”

“I’ve got you.” He smiles warmly as he takes your hand and pulls you toward him. He keeps some space between you so that you’re not flush up against him, and you both look down at your feet. “I’ll lead. So I’ll step forward with my left foot first, which means you have to step back with your right.”

You do as he instructs.

“Then you just step back together, one, two. Yeah, just like that. Then it’s your turn to step forward with your left - yes, exactly. Just a simple cha-cha.” You move together until you get the feet down.

“I’m too stiff,” you laugh, noticing the robotic way you move your feet.

“You have to loosen up your hips.” He lets go of your hand so both of his hands can secure themselves to your hip bones, and he does it so casually that you almost don’t notice the grip of his fingers. “So you just have to move your hips in time with your feet, like this.” He directs your hips from side to side. “Don’t fight it. Just feel the music.”

You hold tightly to his shoulders as he moves you, feeling unsteady under his hands. It isn’t until you look up at him that you realize how close he is. He meets your gaze, and like wildfire you see pink flood across his cheeks.

“Sorry.” Kino quickly releases you, taking a step back. “Dancers are just used to being manipulated like that, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by touching you like that.”

You blush, too, feeling awkward. “Oh, no, it’s totally fine. I mean, you were just showing me how to dance, it’s not like a big deal or anything.”

He lets out a short laugh, and it makes you smile. “Sorry,” he apologizes again. “I’m not always this weird, I promise.”

“You’re not being weird,” you reassure him. A moment of silence passes, but it doesn’t feel uncomfortable. You turn towards the piano. “Do you want to go back to practicing?”

He nods gratefully. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

As you resume your seat, you’re not sure what you’re feeling. Even though that was a somewhat intimate moment - and Kino is definitely a cutie - you can’t help but remember Professor Yang’s touch.

You’re such a lost cause.

You pick out your tightest jeans and a low-cut top for the party that night, and Nailah wears something similar. You don’t necessarily have the intention of meeting a guy tonight, but who knows. You could get drunk and hook up with someone, because that’s apparently what you do now. You’re just preparing yourself for that possibility.

You and Nailah meet Shinhye downstairs, and she’s wearing a ripped up pair of boyfriend jeans with a crop top - very nineties hip hop, but it suits her with her short hair and round glasses.

The three of you roll across the street to Plymouth and let yourselves upstairs. The security in this building isn’t as tight as your own, so it’s easy to slip into a throng of residents up to Wooseok’s room.

There must be at least fifteen other people in the room - which is a lot, considering that the apartment sized dorm room isn’t really that large.

It doesn’t take you long to spot Wooseok, since he towers over everyone there. He works his way towards you as you and the girls grab some drinks from the kitchen. You decide to start with vodka shots because you are NOT messing around tonight.

Wooseok throws himself around you in a gigantic bear hug, and you can smell the alcohol coming off of him. He slurs, “Shortie, you came!”

You laugh, giving him a pat on the back. “I told you I’d be here.”

He pulls away, a lazy smile on his face. “And you’re not so short today. Look at you bein’ all tall and stuff for once.”

“Yeah, heels will do that.” You giggle, showing off your three-inch footwear. “Wooseok, these are my friends, Shinhye and Nailah.”

He waves cockily. “What’s up, ladies.”

“This is Wooseok, my drummer friend.”

“Thanks for having us over!” Shinhye, your ever polite friend chimes.

“Of course, of course,” Wooseok brushes her off. “You girls get some drinks and get to dancing, okay?”

“Amen!” You reach for some more vodka, mixing yourself a screwdriver this time. Once Nailah and Shinhye have their own beverages of choice, you make your way into the living room to dance.

The music is probably louder than it should be, and it’s house music that you typically wouldn’t listen to, but honestly you don’t really care. You just want to get lost tonight. Besides, Shinhye and Nailah are having a good time dancing, so you have fun dancing with them too.

The three of you get lost in the booze and the music, and it’s exactly the distraction you needed. Just a fun night with the girls.

After a while, Nailah leans in closer to both of you and shouts over the music, “I’m gonna head downstairs for a smoke.”

“I’ll come with you!” Shinhye smiles at her. You know Shinhye doesn’t smoke, but whatever.

“I’m gonna stay here and get some more to drink.” You pat them both on the shoulders. “Don’t get lost out there.”

“We’ll be fiiiiine,” Shinhye drawls.

Nailah takes Shinhye’s arm. “We’ll be back in a few, okay?”

You just nod as they walk off, and then you make your way to the kitchen for another drink. There’s a group standing around in the kitchen all getting ready to do shots, and you join them, tossing back two more and mixing up another screwdriver for yourself. You’re certainly feeling the alcohol at this point, and you move back into the living room because the music is just calling you.

As you dance, you suddenly feel the warmth of someone behind you. Their hands come to rest on your hips, and you drunkenly look back to find an unfamiliar face. You stop moving, not really wanting to dance with this guy.

“Do I know you?” You ask, sass dripping from your voice.

“No, but you can get to know me if you want.” He pulls you tightly against him, grinding lewdly against you.

You cringe, trying to pull away from him. “I don’t want to.”

“Oh, come on. Just have a little fun.” His mouth is too close to your ear, and his grip is too strong. You can feel his hardness against your ass, and you absolutely hate it.

“No!” You protest, struggling. “Get off of me!”

Another voice speaks up. “You heard her. Leave her alone.”

You look up, simultaneously relieved and surprised to see who came to your rescue. “Yuto,” you breathe.

Still, the guy won’t let go of you. “Is she with you?”

Yuto doesn’t hesitate to lie for your sake. “She is, so I suggest you back the fuck off.”

Finally, the filthy hands release you. “You should keep a closer eye on your girl, man. She’s just asking for trouble.”

You turn around and spit at him. “I’m just enjoying myself, you perv! Sexist asshole!”

Yuto puts an arm around you, possibly to hold you back or maybe just to keep you from stumbling. But he doesn’t say anything else; he just stares the guy down.

The stranger huffs and leaves, and you relax into Yuto. You whine, “Why are guys such creeps?”

Yuto, however, doesn’t pay much attention to your question. He’s looking towards the entrance of the apartment, where there’s commotion. “Shit.”

“Really, what kind of sexist bullshit is that?” You continue griping. “I’m allowed to say no for myself, I don’t know why he’d only listen to you. Hey-!”

Yuto grabs your wrist and pulls you from the throng of people, yanking you into a narrow storage closet with him.

“What are you doing?” You buzz with anxiety. Is he going to try something? “Let me go!”

“_____, you’re wasted. Shut the fuck up.” He pulls the door shut, enclosing the two of you in darkness. “The RAs just showed up, so unless you want to get in serious trouble, you need to just chill and be quiet. Okay? Can you do that?”

You nod solemnly, noticing that the music is now turned off. You don’t want to get in trouble, so you suppose you’ll have to stay put. In a loud whisper, you warn him, “You better not try anything gross, Yuto. I’ve had enough of that for one night.”

“I won’t even touch you, okay? Now be quiet.” Yuto is expressionless as he presses himself as far away from you as possible.

The silence between you is endless as you hear the RAs moving through the room, writing everyone up. In hindsight, it was pretty stupid to look for an on-campus party, considering the rules forbidding alcohol.

Shit - Nailah and Shinhye!

“Oh my God,” you whisper. “My friends might be out there.”

Yuto glares darkly at you, bringing a finger to his lips to remind you to shush yourself.

Shit, shit, shit. You really hope that they’re still outside and that they didn’t come up in time to get busted.

This was all your fault, after all. You’re the one that wanted to go to a party, you’re the one that dragged them along.

All because of that damn Professor Dipwad.

God, what you wouldn’t give to be on him right now.

No! That’s not what you want.

Your cheeks flush. Why does alcohol make you so horny?

You peek up at Yuto, as though you’re concerned he might sense your thoughts. But he just looks towards the door, listening.

His jawline is particularly striking, and you’ve never noticed it before. His hands are surprisingly big, too, his long fingers curling around his biceps as his arms cross over his chest. Actually, he is pretty attractive. Or maybe it’s just that your vodka goggles are in full effect.

He may not have sensed your thoughts, but he definitely senses your stare. Yuto meets your gaze, his eyes firmly locking onto yours. The intensity of his stare makes your heart pound, and you find yourself unable to break away. Like you’re entranced.

Or you’re just drunk.

“You’re so-”

Before you can finish that thought (‘pretty’ is the word you have in mind), Yuto closes the gap between you, his hand covering your mouth to shut you up.

You return his glare with equal fire, but you don’t fight him.

It feels like an eternity before you’re able to leave the small closet, but eventually everybody leaves and Yuto determines that it’s safe to exit. The room is completely empty - not even Wooseok or his roommate are there.

“Wooseok and Minho must be with the RAs,” Yuto muses. “They’ll probably all be back to clean up in a few minutes.”

“That sucks,” you murmur, heading for the kitchen to get one last sip of something good.

“What are you doing? You’ve had more than enough.” Yuto grabs you by the shoulders and steers you towards the door. “Let’s get back to our building.”

“But I’m still thirstyyyy,” you whine as he guides you out the door.

The hallway is clear, and you’re able to slip downstairs without any trouble. You don’t see Nailah or Shinhye at all on your walk back to your dorm, and you hope they’re okay.

Yuto supports you whenever you stumble, your heels suddenly too difficult for you to walk in.

When you reach your building, he ushers you inside. “Just be cool, we have to get past security.”

You nod, and the movement makes you dizzy. He notices that you’re off-balance, and he places an arm around you, holding onto your waist to keep you from falling.

“You’re impossible,” he mutters as you both walk through the lobby, scanning your key cards at the security desk and making it over to the elevators. His arm is around you the whole time, and you relax into his warmth.

It’s a silent trip up to your room, and he holds onto you until you’ve reached your room. You open the door to an empty and dark apartment, meaning that Nailah still hasn’t made it back. Maybe she did get in trouble with the RAs after all…

You turn to Yuto, throwing a smile on your face. “Thank you for helping me.”

“Whatever. Just drink some water and go to bed, okay?” He rolls his eyes to seem unconcerned, but you still think it’s sweet that he’s taking care of you. He turns and heads into his room without another word.

You flip on the lights and collapse onto the couch, mind jumping drunkenly from thought to thought. Where are Shinhye and Nailah? Are they okay?

This is all your damn fault. If only Professor Yang worked at literally any other university, then you never would have crossed paths and he wouldn’t still be on your mind. Even now, he sits in the back of your mind, the memory of your night together resurfacing like it always fucking does.

The thing that’s really hateful about all of it is the fact that you have to pretend like you’re not still interested in him. That you have to just ignore that you’ve ever felt anything about him. It’s all a big lie, and you hate having to walk on eggshells around him.

Why can’t you just be honest?

And suddenly, you have an idea. It’s a terrible one, but let’s be honest - all ideas seem great when you’re drunk. So you pull out your phone and glide through your contacts, where you know you’ve saved Professor Yang’s phone number. It doesn’t even occur to you that it’s his office number and it’s also nearing midnight - all you know is you have to call him. You have to tell him.

You hold the phone to your ear, listening to each ring and hoping desperately to hear his voice on the other end.

No luck.

Instead, you get the generic voicemail greeting, and you should hang up. You should definitely just end the call and not blab. But… you’re drunk.

You’re quiet for a moment after the beep, not sure how to start. And then…

“I hate it. I hate that I can’t stop thinking about you. I hate trying to hide the fact that I literally think about you every day.”

You’d like to think that your words are coming out smoothly, but in reality you’re stumbling and slurring.

“Literally… I just want you. I want you to touch me. I want to feel your lips and your hands and your body. It’s killing me that I can’t just… I want to get naked and fuck.”

And suddenly, you’re giggling uncontrollably. “That feels so good to just say it! Ugh let’s fuck, let’s just do the damn thing and screw everybody else. Nothing matters. Just you and me. You know I’ll be so good to you…”

Like vomit, every fantasy expels itself from you, about how you want to tempt him in class and feel him raw inside you. How you want to choke on his cock and ride his face. Nothing is held back.

You’re about to plead with him to give you just one more night together, but the phone buzzes in your hand, shutting itself off due to low battery. You just stare at it for a moment, grumpy about the fact that, 1) it turned off and 2) he didn’t answer. All you want is to just hear his voice. Maybe you should try calling again?

Nah… you’re tired, and you don’t know where your charger is. So you just collapse onto the couch, disgruntled, and you fall into an uneasy sleep.

You wake up in the morning with a churning stomach and a headache, but it’s nothing you weren’t expecting. Your neck is stiff from the uncomfortable couch, and you stretch carefully before peeking into the bedroom.

Thankfully, Nailah is snoozing in her bed. You’re glad she made it back okay. Your memory of last night is a little fuzzy, but you remember not knowing what happened to Nailah and Shinhye at the party.

You take a long shower to clear your head and fry up some eggs once your stomach is settled. When you sit down to eat, you finally plug in your dead cell phone. It powers on, and you’re flooded with texts and missed calls.

Nailah, 12:02am: girl where r u??? Shinhye, 12:03am: are you okay? Let me know when you get home Nailah, 12:05am: seriously answer ur phone Nailah, 12:06am: we’re looking everywhere but no one knows where u went

Shit. You start to remember some of the gaps from last night… Nailah wasn’t home when you came back, so she must have been out looking for you.

A couple more texts, presumably after they found you...

Shinhye, 12:24am: please don’t scare us like that again Shinhye, 12:24am: call me when you wake up?

And a few in between that seem a bit out of place…

City Boy (Kino), 12:16am: are you okay? lol City Boy (Kino), 12:17am: i think you must be drunk City Boy (Kino), 12:22am: maybe we should chat tomorrow lmao

What is that supposed to mean? You don’t have any record of texting him last night, and you don’t remember ever running into him. Maybe you were drunker than you thought.

You try to concentrate and remember an order of events from last night. Yuto pulled you into that closet during the bust, and then… he walked you home? Right! And the apartment was empty, so you didn’t know where Nailah was...

Oh, shit.

You called Professor Yang. And you left a voicemail.

Shit shit shit.

What had you said? Oh God, it better not have been anything stupid…

Wait, was it possible that you called Kino, too? Maybe you were just call-happy. You do get pretty chatty when you’re drunk…

With nervous fingers, you open up your phone app and check your recent calls to assess the damage. But you only see one call from last night - an outgoing call to Kino.

Oh dear Lord you misdialed.

Your heart races and you feel queasy as the realization hits you. You had thought you were calling Hongseok, which means whatever message you left was absolutely addressed to him. And if you at all mentioned the night you shared…

Shit! Now all of that was on Kino’s phone! And he has clearly listened to it!

You throw your phone onto the carpeted floor like it was burning your hand. What were you thinking??

Jesus Christ you’re screwed. You are so, so screwed.

You actually dread R&B Ensemble on Monday. You had spent the whole weekend ignoring Kino’s texts out of sheer terror (and getting lectured by Nailah and Shinhye, but you totally deserve that). You don’t know how much he knows, but you do know that you cannot have that conversation with him.

As a result, you show up a few minutes late to rehearsal, which earns you a slight admonishment from your teacher. You mutter an apology and take your place behind the keyboard, and you feel Kino’s and Yuto’s eyes on you the whole way. Wooseok is missing, and you wonder where he is.

During the break in rehearsal, Yuto catches your attention. “You good?”

It’s a simple question, and you nod. “Thanks for helping me get home. Saturday was a little rough and I think my friends might still be low-key pissed at me for disappearing, but I’m fine otherwise.”

He nods, not meeting your eyes. “You should watch your limits next time.”

You roll your eyes. You don’t need him to lecture you. Obviously you took it too far this weekend. “Hey, do you know why Wooseok’s out?”

“Yeah. He’s banned from extracurriculars for a few weeks as punishment for throwing a party.”

“Really?”

“He probably should have been arrested, considering he was supplying alcohol to minors. Himself included. But the school doesn’t want that negative attention.”

Jeez. You make a mental note to yourself to check in with Wooseok later - partially to see if he’s still up for tutoring this week, but also to see if he’s doing okay.

And then Kino’s suddenly standing in front of you. “Hey.” He’s got his usual smile on his face, and it sends a nervous chill down your spine. “Can I talk to you after practice?”

You find it hard to breathe - you’ll never be ready to have the conversation, but you can’t avoid it forever. “Sure.”

Somehow you manage to get through the rest of rehearsal, and you and Kino head out into the chilly night together. He doesn’t start talking until you get outside.

“So…” he starts. “Good weekend?”

“Quite the opposite,” you confess. “I went to a party that got busted, but luckily I didn’t get caught. And then I think I may have left you an embarrassing voicemail. But Lord knows I don’t remember what the hell I said.”

Kino laughs awkwardly. “Yeah, it’s definitely not anything I expected, I guess. You don’t remember it at all?”

“No, I honestly don’t.”

“Do you want to hear it?” Kino fishes his phone out of his pocket as you both come to a stop at the street corner. “Just to know what you said?”

You don’t particularly want to - you wish you could just brush all of this under the rug. But you know that you need to; otherwise, you’ll stress about the what-ifs for the rest of the foreseeable future. “Okay, yeah.”

He pulls up the voicemail and hands the device to you, which you hold up to your ear. You’re relieved to hear that you don’t once mention the intended recipient’s name, but you hardly get to feel relief. The voicemail is full of filthy imaginings and you’re absolutely mortified by the sexual picture you drunkenly painted.

Your cheeks are burning when you finally hand the phone back, speechless, and you can’t even bring yourself to look him in the eye.

“I’ll delete it now. I only kept it because I thought you might want to know.”

“Thank you.”

The two of you start walking again, and you can sense that he’s dying to ask more about it. You’ll have no choice but to answer.

“Um,” he laughs again. “So I guess my biggest question about it is… you know, since you were drunk and all, did you actually mean that?”

Your chest tightens, and you realize that his cheeks have grown pink, too. Of course he thought it was meant for him. You did leave the message on his phone, after all. But is it possible that he actually wants that message to be his?

Just rip the bandaid off. It sucks, but you have to be honest. You don’t want to lead him on.

“So… I was actually trying to call someone else. I didn’t mean for you to get that message.”

He nods briskly to seem unaffected. “You know, I kind of thought that might be the case.”

“I’m really sorry, Kino.”

He waves his hands to dismiss your apology. “No, don’t worry about it. And I promise I won’t get weird about it, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then he asks, “So, who is he?”

“Just an old fling. No one important.” You feel like he deserves a bit more info than that, so you continue. “There’s nothing between us. I just… I think about him sometimes, but nothing is going to happen.”

“Ah. I’m sorry about that. You, uh, seem to be pretty into him.” He struggles to hold back a snicker, and you playfully hit his arm.

“Knock it off!” You start laughing. “Don’t start joking about that. I’m still embarrassed.”

“But it’s the truth,” he muses, laughing and nudging you with his elbow. His laughter warms you, genuinely making you feel more comfortable. You’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks, but he already feels like a close friend.

This time an easy quiet falls between you as your dorm comes into view. How does he always manage to make you feel so relaxed?

Before you split off to go to your room, you turn to him and apologize. “I’m sorry I ignored you all weekend. I was panicked and embarrassed about the whole situation.”

“It’s okay. I totally understand.” Kino nods reassuringly.

You nod, too. “Okay. Cool.”

“Cool,” he echoes. His eyes search your face and he wears a warm expression. “Do you maybe want to do something next weekend? Like, hang out somewhere that’s not a practice room?”

That actually sounds like a really nice idea. You really like spending time with him, so why not? “Yeah, that sounds great.”

“Awesome. I’ll make the plans then.” Waving cutely, he departs for his own dorm. You watch him leave, finally starting to relax after such a stressful couple of days.

Thankfully, Professor Yang would never hear that message. And the conversation with Kino went better than expected.

Maybe things will be back on track now, as long as you’re careful.

When you see Professor Yang in class the next morning, he acts like his usual self. He is all business as he rolls up his sleeves and scribbles physics equations on the chalkboard, blissfully unaware of the way you spend the whole class admiring his striking profile instead of taking notes.

Seriously, how could someone have such a great nose?

Shinhye, however, totally notices your gawking.

She scoots her chair a little closer to yours and leans in, murmuring under her breath. “He’s exceptionally hot today, don’t you think?”

You immediately redirect your eyes to your completely blank notebook. “That’s inappropriate.”

“You’re inappropriate,” she sasses.

She doesn’t know how right she is.

“Don’t worry,” Shinhye pats your leg under the desk. “You can copy my notes later.”

“Any questions?” Professor Yang speaks up from the front of the room, capturing your undivided attention again. He carefully avoids your gaze as he peeks around the room. No one speaks up, so he moves on. “Alright, then. I’ve graded your labs from last week, so when I call your name please come up to collect your work.”

You’re certain that’s code for I-still-don’t-know-your-names, and you try not to smile. Why do you think that’s cute?

He starts working his way through the pile, calling one student’s name after another. And when he finally says your name, he looks directly up at you and your pulse skyrockets. You hold his gaze for a moment before Shinhye gives you a gentle shove.

“Don’t be so obvious!” She whispers, nudging you to stand. “Get up there.”

You hurry to the front of the room, trying not to make a scene. Are you walking too fast? Do you look awkward? Can everyone see how hot your face feels?

When you reach him, you accept your lab papers without looking up at him, but you think that you are literally going to die when your fingers accidentally brush his. You restrain your squeal and rush back to your seat.

Shinhye leans towards you, struggling to hold back her laughter. “Oh my God you are so awkward.”

“Shut up,” you laugh, completely overwhelmed by this sudden bout of anxiety. You need to get over this crush fast, because clearly you’re acting like a fool around him.

You distract yourself by flipping through your lab to see what points you missed. But something doesn’t quite add up.

It’s not a surprise to you that you got some things wrong - you and Shinhye had struggled a lot with getting accurate decibel readings, so you figured some of your calculations were off. But when you total up the points you received and the percentage he scrawled across the top of your lab, the numbers don’t match.

He gave you a higher grade.

...did he do it on purpose?

Normally you’d let it slide if a teacher miscalculated your grade in your favor. Why not accept the accidental grade boost? But with him… this is different.

You told him you want to be graded fairly, that you want to end the class with exactly the grade you deserve. How would it reflect on you if someone noticed you were getting higher grades than what was warranted? What would they think you had done to convince Professor Yang to boost your grade?

Sighing, you sink further into your chair.

You’re going to have to chat with him again.

Post Script | Thank you for reading! Please stay tuned for Part 5.

Update | Read Part 5 here!

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